Split the Corner Podcast
2 ex bartenders have their favorite bar conversations. Your home for phone down bar discussions on movies, music, sports, history, hypotheticals and whatever else we feel like.
Split the Corner Podcast
Season 2, Episode 7: Why Are Chefs So Surly?
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Today's episode of the Split the Corner Podcast is a roller coaster of emotion from the very beginning. Kaz and Kyle are sullenly taking a look at what has gone wrong for the Philadelphia Eagles in this disaster of a season so far and are not pulling any punches on where they think the blame lies. And then things get more positive as they dive into the miraculous turn around of the boys in blue in Chester County: The Philadelphia Union. They aren't losing and we are here to sing their praises for all the world to hear. And since staying on high notes doesn't seem to be this episode's M.O., we're celebrating National Chefs Day. They're surly and they're hard to deal with from time to time, but they're the unsung heroes of the hospitality community and they deserve their own day. Just stop throwing things around the kitchen when a guest wants to sub ranch for something. Cheers!
Producer's Note: This episode was recorded before Jalen Hurts was officially shut down for the remainder of the season by the Philadelphia Eagles due to blood clots in his lungs. Everything said about the extent of his injury was said before the full details had been released by the team. We wish Jalen a speedy recovery and are looking forward to seeing him back on the field next season. Go Birds.
Welcome to Split the Corner. What can we get you?
SPEAKER_02It's a somber day at the Split the Corner podcast headquarters as we bid farewell to the twenty twenty-six Philadelphia Eagles season. That's right, everybody. We're gonna start this one off on a sad note. Jalen Hurts is out for an indefinite period of time with what they are calling a blood clot. Not a deep vein thrombosis, but just a just a blood clot. It's just blood clot. Uh so with with all the due respect of a partially sports podcast, we're uh let's take a minute for the Eagles. Kyle, what you got on this?
SPEAKER_01It does feel like a funeral. Right? Like there's like 20 dudes on the injured list coming for this coming game. And just so everyone is aware, today is Friday. We will release this on Tuesday. So we do not yet know the outcome of the Eagles versus Carolina Panthers game coming up this Sunday, but I gotta tell you, it doesn't feel good.
SPEAKER_02I mean, this week's game is is huge, but I mean, what about the whole rest of the season? I mean, we're talking weeks upon weeks. We're what are we two and three right now?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we're five weeks into the season, buddy. And I'm listening I'm not a gloom and doom kind of guy as far as sports go. I think the writing is pretty much on the wall from the get-go. And I think that we knew things were gonna be tough after Saquon went down in the first game or second game or whatever it was. And now you've got your receivers are out. Dante uh Devante Smith is out. Uh, you just like they made a big deal about Dallas Goddard coming back. And listen, I love Dallas Goddard, the tight end, but he's a tight end. He's not gonna make or break a game, he's not Travis Kelsey five years ago. And I gotta be honest with you, dude. I listen, let's not get into conspiracy theory. However, I kind of think that the blood clot may be a little less than truthful from the eagle side of things.
SPEAKER_02Oh boy, if we had that hot take sound effect. That goes right there. Now we'll get like a like a hot take, hot take, split the corner, hot take. Or is it just a take? Is it a sizzle? You know, like when you throw an ice cube on the flat top, and it just kind of goes, ts.
SPEAKER_01I see, I like music involved. I'd like it to be more suspenseful, maybe.
SPEAKER_02Kind of like you want to jackpot at the casino. Hot take. This is a split the corner hot take. All right, so what was that about us amongst ourselves?
SPEAKER_01Anyway, I I think so. Listen, I'm not saying that he doesn't have a blood clot. He very well may have a blood clot, but here's the other side of the coin. You got a guy that you just paid millions and millions of dollars to, who is a Super Bowl-winning Super Bowl MVP. I'm not going to take that away from Jalen Hurts. But the minute the Super Bowl was over, he regressed like crazy. He is inconsistent with the ball. He's been scared to throw it downfield. He's not pulling the ball down to get himself out of trouble, and therefore he's absorbing a ton of sacks. I mean, it's been like last year, every time we won a game last year, I remember thinking, hooray, because it didn't feel like a definitive win. And now this year, you come out, and this is the worst Jalen Hurts I've ever seen. I mean, the guy looks completely befuddled. He looks lost. And granted, he's had a different offensive coordinator every single year of his football career since his uh senior year of high school. That can't be easy either. But you've done it year after year after year. You've adjusted the systems, they've adjusted the systems to you, and you're gonna look like this. He threw for less than a hundred yards two weeks ago. You have to physically and actively try in this league to throw under a hundred yards. I mean, it's an absolute train wreck of a season for Jalen Hurts, and it's only five weeks in, and all of a sudden they go, blood clot. Maybe, just maybe, and this is a personal take, but maybe they're not being entirely truthful. Maybe this dude has played so poorly that they've and they've paid this dude so much money that A, they need to save a little face on their end, and B, they want to save a little face on Jalen's side of the of the ego train. But I'm saying it's convenient to be playing that poorly and then go, oh yeah, he's blood clot. Yep, that's what it is. So he's out forever. The season, the month, whatever. But I mean, it just seems convenient that they would come out and say that. And if you've got a what is he a hundred million dollar quarterback that sucks all of a sudden, you're not gonna just bench him. That doesn't look good for anybody. So you say he has a blood clot.
SPEAKER_02You ever you ever work at a bar where a bunch of guys got real drunk and decided they were gonna go outside and have a race? Like, I I know it sounds it sounds random. I'm going somewhere with this, but I I I worked at a place where the where the bros got a little broy, and someone started bragging about their 40 time in high school, and it turned into a big thing, and next thing you know, there's five dudes standing in the middle of the street, and they're gonna race light pole to light pole, like we're 12 years old. These gentlemen were not 12 years old, and three of them pulled up with hammies before they reached the end of the light pole. And I wonder if if that's if that's what you're what you're saying. If you're saying that like two and three with the potential of going two and sixteen, uh does he does he pull his own number and and sit this one out? Or or does it trigger a a blood clot clause in his contract where if you throw for less than 200 yards over the course of two games, we are obligated to bench you, but don't worry, we won't tell them it's because you suck.
SPEAKER_01I mean, it's possible, man. It's very possible. I think that you're not looking at a team that's gonna go 2 and 16. You're just not. Like, that's not in the cards. And they know that they have incredibly valuable draft assets over the next two years. I believe it's like four first rounders or three first rounders and four second rounders or something to that effect. I mean, there's there's a lot of draft picks with a lot of value on the table. So it's very possible that you've got a guy in Halle Roseman, the GM, and you've got a guy in Jeffrey Laurie, the owner, the only two guys that are basically responsible for bringing this city to Super Bowls. I mean, they're both still around, but maybe they're looking at it and going, This iteration ain't it. So they're not necessarily going to tank, I don't think, because there's really no value in tanking, I don't believe, in the NFL. I mean, yeah, you get the draft or whatever, but I mean, we've got draft assets for days. So maybe they use one of those to find Jalen Hurts another receiver or something. And again, the the injury bug has been a dick this year. You know, you're sitting 20 guys coming up, we're watching our guys drop left and right. But at the end of the day, Jalen Hurts just hasn't played well. And it seems to me like they would rather sit him and let you know other guys take the reins until maybe Saquon and Devante get healthy, and then all of a sudden, thank you, Jesus, thank you, Lord Above. My blood clot mysteriously and miraculously disappeared. Wouldn't surprise me.
SPEAKER_02And then your whole A team is back together, meanwhile, you don't have Jalen out on the field taking snaps behind the the second rate offensive line while everyone's hurt. Yep. I mean it it's You're protecting your asset, man. That's what we have seen crazier things in pro sports.
SPEAKER_01Jalen Hurts is a hundred million dollar asset. They're just trying to protect him, and a blood clot is as good a reason as any. I mean, are you gonna check that? You know?
SPEAKER_02There is kind of a kind of a who checks your daily crossword puzzle. You know, like it's easy to put letters in boxes, but is anyone really looking and seeing that you're doing this correctly? I'm I don't know how that works in terms of like, does the league verify injury? Uh does the league give a shit? I think care if you say my quarterback's hurt, he's not playing. Now, I I would I would like to think it's a it's a TV rating thing, but I mean look at what the NBA does when it comes to resting guys. You know, is is that is that the new version of this? I know I know we talk a lot about how football is getting soft in terms of you know what we're calling a a foul and what we're what we're terming an injury and what guys are and aren't playing through nowadays. And I'm I'm a hundred percent not saying that Jalen Hurts should go play through a blood clot. Like let's if it's if he's really hurt, then he's really hurt, and we wish him the best. And split the corner says that you know, get well soon. Um but if we're if we're fishing out conspiracy theories, this one does seem pretty convenient. You know, you're you're the long list on a real, you know, like if he'd have gone down first, I I would be less likely to be to be supporting this.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I wouldn't I wouldn't have thought thing another thing of it, but you've got essentially you're bringing out practice squad guys to try to protect him.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you have 20 players injured, and there's only 22 players on the field.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so like everybody he's it's everybody. I mean, you have to protect your assets. So my thought process here is basically let's wait till everybody else gets healthy. But at the same time, Jalen Hurts has not looked the same since the end of the Super Bowl, and he was an absolute dynamo in that game. But like everybody's entitled to a bad year, like maybe he had an off-year, you know, and that's last year was was it, but you had all offseason to work on that, and your whole thing is we just gotta work harder, we just gotta put our heads down, nose to the grindstone, blah blah blah. And you come out looking like this like is it a prep thing?
SPEAKER_02Like it was he not ready because it doesn't look like he was ready because he hasn't he hasn't improved in the things he needed to improve in, and the things that he was resting his laurels on, he doesn't do anymore, right? So you know, we need you to get through your first read to your second read to your third read because there are armchair quarterbacks all over the country watching you every Sunday going, oh my god, he was wide open. Yep, and you don't see him. There's two of us doing it right now, and Jaden Daniels from the Commanders has been training with virtual reality in the offseason so that they can register technologically to see how quickly his eyes are going from one receiver to the other. Like, we've the you have all the tools that you need in the world as a hundred million dollar man working for a billion-dollar organization. If it's been invented to help you do this, then unfortunately, we've probably put it into football. Right. So you know, like it, and and we said, oh, well, it's okay because everybody's always worried about his legs. When's last time you saw him run?
SPEAKER_01On a on a play that wasn't a designed run that turned into a negative yard four-yard slide.
SPEAKER_02No, he's not he's not dangerous with his legs.
SPEAKER_01Where are the 60 yarders? You know, and like look, that's a that we're talking about a guy who's got a skill set that you don't see every day. I mean, there are a handful of guys that could do that throughout the history of the NFL. Donovan McNabb, Michael Vick, Randall Cunningham, uh, Dante Culpepper for a small amount of time. Steve Young could run. You know, and now you're taking away one of his tools. And maybe he's got it in his head, like, hey, I signed this contract, now I can't be taken. Like, I was playing for the contract, I got the contract, and now I'm going to stay in the pocket. Because that ain't what got you here, pal.
SPEAKER_02Well, and that's that's where I I push back on the six different offensive coordinators in six years. I know that sucks, but you're a professional athlete. Like, that's what you're making this money for. And all of these coaches that are coming in are professional coaches at a national football league level. You're not at the disposal of, you know, my dad coached me for a year, and then your dad coached me for a year, and neither one of them knew what they were talking about. Like, these are professional coaches. If you were damn good at what you do, they will build their system around you. No one ever came in and looked at Peyton Manning and said, I'm gonna need you to scramble for a year because this whole staying in the pocket and just dishing it out all over the place isn't really working for our offense.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. You know, when Peyton went to Denver, even in that in that sliver of a year where where Denver wins the Super Bowl, and you can a hundred percent say that Peyton wasn't the reason why, he still played Peyton Manning football. Right. They didn't say, Oh, you're getting old, we need you to do this, this, like it. That's his brand of football, and you build it around him. Why Jalen's six years in, he's won two Super Bowls. One one Super Bowl went to two super bowls, went to two superlast, he's been to two super bowls, should have won both, but that's another. And we're not building off, we're still asking him to fit into a new coordinator's offense.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, I agree wholeheartedly, man. There, he's getting shot in the foot. But the the passing problems stem from the fact that the secondaries don't have to worry about him anymore.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01So they're yeah, anyway. So there is listen, maybe it's a blood clot, maybe it isn't. If it is, please get well soon. I love me a healthy Jalen Hurts, and it might not sound like it, but I am a supporter of Jalen Hurts. I'm just not a supporter of the way he's played the last year and five games, and maybe the blood clots just a safe face.
SPEAKER_02The flip side of the coin, right? The upside for Eagles fans that are sitting out there listening to this, going, Holy crap, what do I do with the rest of my season? What you do with the rest of your season is enjoy it. Yeah, like there goes all the pressure. Yeah, we can learn learn the practice squad kids and let's see how many of them stick around next year. You know, I'm I'm still planning on watching every game. I'm I'm gonna root for people I've never heard of, and we're gonna hope that some of the bounces go our way. But if we don't win a game for the rest of the season, I'm not surprised. Like every win from here on out is a huh, that's can't believe we got one. That's great. Right? So, so that's that's my outlook. My outlook is pressure's off, go play some football, go have some fun.
SPEAKER_01But if we don't win another game in Eagles uniforms for the rest of the season, I can tell you who is winning games right now, and that, my friend, is the boys in blue, your Philadelphia union, the dupe squad from the Delaware River.
SPEAKER_02That's right. That is right boys under the bridge. That's right. The Chester County Kids.
SPEAKER_01If that was just off the top of the dome, though, dude, well freaking done.
SPEAKER_02We we could have, I feel like we could have ran with that for a little bit. And and none of these I've ever I've ever heard before. Those are those were good. We need some of these in our in our union life.
SPEAKER_01The boys under the bridge. Well, to keep everybody informed, because I know that there's a lot of uh there's not as much MLS coverage out there as there should be. And for guys like you and me, it's a travesty that it's not reported on more. But the Philadelphia Union, ladies and gentlemen, have won nine matches in a row. Nine freaking matches in a row. And on top of that, to make the juice just a little sweeter, they are unbeaten in their last 14. And this is a team that was at the bottom of the standings. They were scraping the gum off the bottom of the shoes of every other team in the league, and they have not lost in three months. Dead last.
SPEAKER_02We were dead last. We touched the bottom of the pool at one point this season, and they are now sitting pretty at the sixth spot. Chomping it the bit in the race for top four. Like we are just outside the door of the top four teams in the Eastern Conference, and we beat the number four team just this last game. And again, we're recording this on Friday. So hopefully, by the time this comes out, we are nine wins in a row and 15 unbeaten and and climbing the ladder. And and at that point, we will have tied the MLS win streak record at nine. We will be one of three teams. I'm sorry, it's eight. They have eight in a row, my mistake. But it is speak that into existence because that's coming. Hell yeah. That that ninth in a row, this team is playing some some phenomenal ball and and doing it without a a talisman, without a European star that that got brought over. All of the teams seem to have one nowadays. You got Messi in Miami, and Lewandowski's playing in Chicago, and you've got Marco Royce out in LA playing for the Galaxy, and Hasong Kim is playing for LAFC, and we didn't get one. We have a 17-year-old kid whose mom drops him off three days a week, and he is lighting the world on fire. Tied for the league lead and assists is young Kevin Sullivan.
SPEAKER_01Kevin Sullivan, we waited for what we started hearing about him when he was, I mean, like gotten national attention when he was like 14, right?
SPEAKER_02Well, his brother came up super young. So, like, we've known this kid was coming since he was like 12.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Talk about surpassing expectations. I mean, the kid he has one more year with us after this because he's going to Manchester City when he turns 18. If that team is still around, I guess, after all the crap they're going through. But this kid came up and we said, Oh my god, he's so young, whatever, whatever. And then that left foot started to happen. And he starts banging balls into the back of the net and he starts seeing things on the on the field that you know, a kid that young should not see some of the passes that he's making. But I mean, he is just burying them. Everything he's done to this point has been right. And I mean, they took him a minute, but I'm sitting here talking, oh, when he was 15, he didn't score any goals. Well, no shit, he didn't score any goals. There's guys my age out there with him. Yeah, grown ass men double his age, triple his age, you know, whatever.
SPEAKER_02And and they've already gone through puberty. Yeah, you know, like they have facial hair and like girlfriends and can drive kids and kids.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they have their own kids, and deep voices. That's right. But this kid has been just unbelievable. I mean, it took him a minute to get going this season. I think what it was four, five, six matches in before he really heated up, and then he's been off to the races.
SPEAKER_02Well, I'm watching because his brother just came back. Quinn Sullivan just came back from an ACL, Terran, and watching the two of them just have that unspoken connection of like, I've I've been playing with my brother forever. Like, this just makes sense. It it makes me wonder why we don't see. More of that in team sports. More specifically like a soccer or a hockey or something. I mean, hockey you get some brothers from time to time. Well, I mean, what about basketball? You know, like I could see I could see two brothers messing up a basketball league. Absolutely. You know, now I understand why Bron and Brawny didn't work. Uh because I don't want to be on a team with my dad. Because everything I do is gonna be wrong. Especially when my dad is LeBron James.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And like if I curse and then he has to chew me out in front of the other guys, like that's not a good start.
SPEAKER_02Right? Like, I'm gonna pass the ball not to him one time, and I'm gonna hear about it all Thanksgiving. Like, we're just gonna be sitting at the table and he's gonna be like, pass carrots. And we're gonna be like, really? Really? Pass now. Oh, now you want to pass things. Oh, okay, you want to pass me the game. Now you want to pass things. Like, I just I couldn't, I couldn't do it. Like, one missed opportunity, and family doesn't let that stuff up.
SPEAKER_00I want I want you to know I think it's hysterical that you chose carrots because they're orange like a basketball. That did not go by me, buddy. It's freaking hilarious.
SPEAKER_01Anyway, the union man, like you uh Kaz and I had season tickets for many years, and then through uh some circumstances, we gave them up last year, and uh regret that now, huh?
SPEAKER_02All right, look, we we gave them up as an active protest against the. Absolutely, we did. All right, we we had a we had a come to Jesus conversation about look, if this is how they're gonna keep going about things, then we can't support it financially. So we took a season off. We didn't go to games, we didn't give him any concession money, you know, like we we barely snuck by with the Apple TV subscription. Um, but boy, did we build ourselves a hell of a grassroots soccer team somehow. Uh annoying. We've got kids everywhere. We got kids coming back. Did you see Mark McKenzie's coming back in January? Is he really? We are bringing the hometown kid back to put him at center back next to Neil Pierre's six foot seven self. Outstanding. So I it's good in getting better. And it's, you know, if you are frustrated with Philly Sports, because we're not even going to give the Flyers a moment of time here until they've decided to show up to the conversation. Yep. If you are frustrated with Philly Sports, find yourself a union game. They're scoring goals, it looks pretty, it's it's blue collar, it's pressure and and running non-stop, and we're just going to we're just going to be all over the place until you submit, and it's absolutely a joy to watch.
SPEAKER_01I hate to take the joy out of the room right now because I feel like there's a lot. We wait, we started low and we got real high, and now I'm gonna suck the joy back out of the the room by wishing everyone a happy National Chefs Day.
SPEAKER_02It had to happen because it's definitely not crap on the Eagles Day or Hooray Union Day. It's never Hooray Union Day. We need to we need to put that in somewhere. More Hooray Union Days. More hooray union days. Um but uh it we it can't we can't our back of house brethren, so some of whom are chefs in title only, I guess also deserve a day. So and that's where I came from. I I spent some time in in the chef life. I've done my time in the kitchen, I've got my knife skills, I've spatchcocked a chicken, I've blanched my own French fries, I've done all the costing in US food orders, so it I'm I'm there.
SPEAKER_01What is spatchcock a chicken?
SPEAKER_02That is where you just made up a word. No, it's where you break its rib cage and then flatten it so that you can cook it evenly and not stuffed.
SPEAKER_01Oh. Um spatchcock?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. It so you get really sharp uh heavy-duty kitchen shears, and you just right up through the bone and then spread it out and flay it, and then it goes flayed like a like a medieval torture rack on your pan and then into the oven. And it helps it cook more evenly because it's not heating the the stuffing and the you know, like it's all just laying flat. It's like cooking all of the pieces of a chicken just laid out.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna call this section of the podcast the anti-vegan.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01There's not a vegan who listens to this show that and just enjoyed listening to you talk about cutting a ribcage open with sharp kitchen shears.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, for for the sake of moist, juicy, tender poultry, there is a varying spectrum of chefery in this industry, and I feel like we we've worked with the gamut. So if you are if you are a true chef, uh and I've worked with a couple of you guys, um happy chef's day. And if you are a line cook working your way up to sous chef and getting crapped on all day, happy chef's day. But if you're one of those people if you're one of those people that's out there aspiring to be a celebrity chef in the cockiest way possible, and you say things like Mison Plos or Mirapoix or any of these other French culinary terms that have no business in your dive bar corner restaurant, then you know what? No happy chef's day to you, all right? Get a grip.
SPEAKER_01You're frying chicken tenders, bud. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, when I said I was taking the joy out of the room, I don't mean to to shit on an entire profession, but I mean I would say, and I I think this might even be conservative, that 80% of the chefs that I've worked with over my career have been surly in some way or another. That's not all of them. And I'm not talking, I'm not talking Sue, I'm not talking line cooks, I'm not talking any of that. I'm talking the guy that runs the kitchen is usually a hardened bastard of an individual. And they say really unnecessarily mean things and are just devoid of joy in their everyday life. And I don't know why it is such a common thing. It's like dentistry being like the highest rate of suicide or something. Like that doesn't make any sense to me, and neither does most head chefs being dicks. I don't understand why you gotta talk to people that way, especially like the the young kids that come in, they're maybe their first serving job or something, and maybe they make a mistake on the ticket, and the chef just tears them a new asshole in their face. Like, there's no need for that, man. Get a grip.
SPEAKER_02Hundred percent agree. 100% signed off on nowhere that we are working is that serious, right? Like you you have no right to ruin some 18-year-old kid's day because he forgot to specify that they wanted their steak medium rare and you cooked it to medium. Like life will go on, I promise.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, take a break, bud. But do you adhere to the respect factor? I've worked in the diveest of dives, I've worked in some pretty nice places, and every single person in the back of the house I call chef. Yes. Everyone.
SPEAKER_02Yes. You have to either ask me not to, um, or or unearn it.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Like it's given, it's given default. You put that jacket on and you pick up a pair of tongs, and I'm going to say, hey chef, can I, you know, can I get one of these? Or thank you, chef, when you pass it across the line, or something along that regard. Which, you know, it and I don't know if have you watched The Bear? Yeah. Have you have you caught any of that? I've I've had quite a few conversations with people about um about that show because they haven't ever lived this life, and they don't understand that that's just the means of communication. Like you would say yes, sir, or yes, ma'am, to your boss in your office job, you just say yes, chef, to anyone that works in the kitchen. And it's it it's a little dehumanizing because you you do lose your name a bit when when you're cooking in a kitchen, but you're supposed to. Yeah. You know, you are not you are not you anymore. You are now that station, which is completely different than what we're doing in the front of house, right? Because as you get better as a bartender, your name gets bigger and brighter and and more appealing, right? Like now the the lights behind you are are blasting, you know, your name in big bright lights because you are the rock star and everyone is coming here to see you. The better you get in the back of house, the more that team comes together and your role gets smaller and more specific. Right? Our our dive bar cooks did everything, right? Which is why I think those guys are more chef than some of the people I've worked with in fine dining, because they're you get a Caesar salad that came from that guy. You got chicken wings, it came from that guy. You got a medium well steak and and and a and a lobster tail, and then the guy next to you got fettuccine alfredo. Like that's one dude back there, just like, okay, I guess I'm making this now. You know, like he like the grandpa that's working in the in the in the Chinese food restaurant, right? The six pages worth of menus, and it's just one guy with a walk and a bunch of fire. So the is there, you know, is there a that's why I got out of the back of house. Because I couldn't enjoy the fruits of my labor. I'm working with this team, we're putting out this phenomenal cuisine, this amazing menu. All of the food looks absolutely gorgeous, the plates look beautiful, the servers pick them up, they go out the door, and that's the end of my experience. I don't get to see it hit the table, I don't get to see you take a picture of it, I don't get to see your face when you take the first bite. I don't get I don't get any of that. I just get to make the next ticket. Right and the next ticket, and the next ticket, and the next ticket, and and I have no idea through an eight-hour shift if anybody actually liked what I made. And I didn't like that.
SPEAKER_01I've been sitting here trying to think of other jobs where they call you by your title just ubiquitously. Like the only one I've come up with is officer, like police officer. Like, can you imagine being a bartender and just somebody come you somebody coming over and be like, hey bartender, I need a beer. It's like it's like old timey western kind of vibes, but or like janitor, that seems disrespectful. I can't think of anything else other than a police officer.
SPEAKER_02Because it is yeah, you don't do it to like the delivery people. It's it's not like they show up and you say, you know, thank you, delivery driver. Like, no, it just doesn't maybe doctor?
SPEAKER_01I think doctor might be the only other one I can think of.
SPEAKER_02So, but but doctor is very specifically a title and a profession. So is that what we're saying? We're saying chef is a title and a profession. I think so. Yeah, I I love that. I love the thought of of chef being a title. I wish bartender was more of a title.
SPEAKER_01No, do you see? I don't think so, man. I think it they hey bartender, like that's just a way to get a guy's attention. No, I just I I wish when thank you, bartender.
SPEAKER_02Like, I don't I don't think that works out. But I wish when you told people that you were a bartender, you got the same reverence that you get when you tell people you're a chef. Oh, completely. That's what I wish. Because it is well said is strikingly similar that you are working with flavors to create an experience. I am working with flavors to create an experience. You are working in hospitality to cater what you know to what your guest wants. I am not gonna keep repeating myself, but you get the point.
SPEAKER_01That's a really, really solid argument. Yeah, I don't know why. It's maybe it's because it's it's uh maybe there's more of like the element of alcohol and the uh the fact that you're maybe uh responsible for people's inebriation as opposed to being responsible for them having a full tummy.
SPEAKER_02See, I I think it's more of like putting the whole industry on the couch in this episode. Um I think it's more of like the TGI Fridays years that killed it for for the respect of the industry. The whole like everyone's drinking rum and cokes and some version of a Long Island, and it's more about you know the the Tom Cruise and can you do the the shake and the whole nine yards, and and I I think restaurants kept getting classier and bars started to get trashier and it wasn't until we kind of saw that resurgence of like classic cocktail bartending that that bartenders once again were like, hey, I'm doing what they're doing, but but now we're already 30 years behind or 20 years behind. Because I think we have caught up. I think people people the the the problem is is that, and and maybe this is for another episode, the problem is is that to go from chef to like high-end chef garners more respect. To go from a bartender to a high-end bartender makes people assume you consider yourself a mixologist, and then that respect turns to pretension and disdain.
SPEAKER_01I think I can I think I can bring this to a head. First of all, don't ever say mixologist. It's the snootiest, most pretendous way for me to think that you don't know what the hell you're doing. And that you're not.
SPEAKER_02Is it the equivalent to like celebrity chef?
SPEAKER_01No, I think mixologist is a word that dads use when their friends ask what their sons do for a living, and they don't want to tell them bartender, so they say, Oh, oh, he's a mixologist. It's a pretend word, it doesn't exist. Stop calling yourself a mixologist, you're a bartender. Like, come to come to terms with it. That's a that should be so that should be good enough. You don't mixologist, shut up, nerd. But I think I can bring this to a head. I think the respect goes to the fact that like me, who walked into a bar one day, lied about being able to do it, and then learned on the job, that is not the path that chefs take. They have to go to schools, you know, especially like those high-end guys, they have to go to France for a while or you know, the Asia for a little bit or whatever, and they gotta, you know, really get their chops together. Whereas a guy like me who walked in and you know couldn't pour a dry martini to save his life because I didn't exactly know what it was, I had I had to learn that on the fly. So because I think bartending is more personality driven, and if if someone ever comes to you and says, I went to bartending school, what's the first thing you think of? Aww, they really did scam you out of 250 bucks on a weekend, didn't they, buddy? Aw. I could teach you to make those same five drinks in five minutes.
SPEAKER_02No, and I don't I don't hate on on bartending school if you've never had access to a restaurant before. Like if you've never been a server, if you've never been a food runner, if you've never first of all, my advice would be maybe don't jump straight into being a bartender. Like maybe go get your feet wet a little bit first. But in an industry that is so heavily fake it till you make it, spending a 200 bucks and a and a weekend at a place that's gonna let you play with a back bar so that when you do get the opportunity to fake it till you make it, you you have just the slightest hint of muscle memory. You know, just the slightest hint of okay, those bottles go in the well, the well is down in front of me. I I I've done this before. Yeah, that but that's but that's it. And and my advice to to everyone I've known that's come through bartending school is don't tell anybody.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, keep that to yourselves.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, just use that as your fake it till you make it. Bartending school gives you the right on a resume to say that you were a server that covered a lunch shift once or twice.
SPEAKER_01I'm thinking about being a bartender for Halloween and just wearing clothes. Just wearing my yeah, yeah, just wearing my everyday.
SPEAKER_02It's a wristband and a and an opener.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'll have a beer, I'll have a beer opener in my back pocket, and that'll be my entire costume.
SPEAKER_02Towel slung over the shoulder. Well, and I think it's an interesting point that that you say that you know you walked in and and and made your way up to the top, because you can you can do that uh, you know, on the chef's side. I've known a lot of dishwashers who've worked their way from the dishwasher to you know to the prep station and the prep station to the sandwich station, the sandwich station to the fryer, and the you know, you can get in there and and watch the guy to the left of you and see what he does and eventually and eventually do it. But yes, there is there is that gap because you know, and and you saw it just probably probably going from bartending in in the the world that you started in, right? That kind of rural bar area. I mean, I don't even know if I would call it suburban, it's kind of rural, um, and then moving to Philly, that was probably a bit of a step up. You know, you and that that would be, in my opinion, kind of the chef equivalent of like stodging at a high-end restaurant, you know, like you're gonna go to Paris for six months and spend time shucking peas or something like that, and they're gonna say, Oh, yeah, you worked at the oh my god, you worked at that place. They have a Michelin star, which is a whole nother rant for a whole nother episode.
SPEAKER_01I think you're right, going from small volume or lighter volume to high volume, moving from high volume in one place to really high volume in a completely different place, uh, either in the same city or even geographically, like we were talking about, but it just doesn't, it doesn't feel the same. And I think that's why you get that's why you see the prestige being that much higher on the chef side of things, because yes, you can rise through the ranks, and yes, you can become an incredible chef after starting as a dishwasher. We've all seen it. But to be fair, like if you really want to up your game and you want to get out of the corner bar and you want to go somewhere nicer, more than likely they're gonna ask you to go get some training. Whereas I can walk into any restaurant I want, and they're gonna say, make me an old-fashioned, and I'm going to make the old-fashioned and it's going to be perfect every single time. But that's an experience thing. I can't teach somebody how to use those tiny little forceps to shuck one pee out of a pot, and it's got to be the perfect pea, and it's got to lay in the perfect spot with this crazy sauce that you used a spoon to smear across the plate, and for some reason that's considered high high society fine dining.
SPEAKER_02I was just gonna bring up the smear.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But if you and I walk into the building and we're both up for the same bartender job, they're gonna ask us both to make an old-fashioned, just a plain, simple old-fashioned, and we're both gonna make it, and it's gonna be the same damn drink. What's gonna get me the job or you the job versus the other guy is who had the better personality. And I'd have to go to school to learn that.
SPEAKER_02And personality, as we have already noted, has nothing to do with back of house whatsoever. Um you you don't need a personality it it might be better if you don't have one um i that a hundred percent but just to play devil's advocate what happens if they ask us to make a chocolate martini fair point is there a let let me be because i don't know if we've ever worked at the same place i i didn't have one on the menu at uh the last spot we worked together thank god um how do you apply the chocolate to the martini glass do you rim do you swirl do you flare it up from the bottom and kind of like a like a sparkler explosion look is it more of like a like a grated chocolate on the top you know like there are there are some things where someone will show you a technique that elevates something that you were doing that you then kind of make your own right right and I I you cracked me up when you talked about the smear because the the amount of people I've seen take the back of a spoon and and do the little swath to to place the and and then do you do you put the piece of salmon perpendicular or do you put it parallel do you put it in is it half in like I the the whole concept of like plate design versus garnish design and like these people that have you seen the guys that can turn the giant ice cubes into diamonds with like a knife yeah where they just keep chopping corners off in specific ways and then you have this giant like diamond ice cube that goes in if it's a square just turn it a little bit turn it on its edge and then it's a diamond no like I'm I'm talking like a like a gemstone diamond oh no I haven't seen that it's just just turn it a little bit look it's a rectangle now it's a different rectangle um parallelogram like a full like multifaceted gemstone that they that they do with like a knife and a cutting board like that's that's some crazy stuff i've i've seen people turn orange peels into full on roses that they garnish drinks with like sure that and that's that's all well and good but an old fashioned old fashioned old fashioned whereas bull and ace while its premises are all going to be the same like there's you know you're doing something different so I think where I'm where it where it comes from is that your personality like you said you don't need a personality in the case your personality comes from your food and that does take a lot more training I think than it does to learn how to make a cosmo so while I as a front of house bartender think that all you surly bastards back there needed to have a seat I get it I guess I also wouldn't want a bunch of people coming and yelling at me and being like your fries are overcooked French fries. Figure it out yeah and you know if if I could speak just uh just a little bit to the French fry thing French fries are are probably my favorite restaurant food so as a tip for National Chef's Day most of you are fucking up the fresh cut fries like most of you and I don't know if it's because you're not double frying or you're not blanching or or it's not you know maybe your salt water ratio is off but most of you are fucking it up and and if you're not gonna get fresh cut fries right then just get the frozen ones we don't care I like a crinkle cut I like a steak cut fry I like some seasoned curly fry I don't care but if you're trying to do fresh cut and you're screwing them up save yourself the time and effort split the corner hot takes I agree though it's not that hot take I agree um we got one more episode here in the month of October and we are going to be spending it talking about Halloween traditions urban legends spooky stuff et al.
SPEAKER_01If you'd like us to cover anything in particular please feel free to get a hold of us uh for this upcoming Halloween jamboree is that what we're calling it a Halloween jamboree i am i have fond memories of jamborees oh i'd like to bring jamborees back around that's cool this um split the corner halloween jamboree will be coming to you october 27th is there a difference between a jamboree and a hoot nanny there has to be I don't want to live in a world that's kind of like Halloween hoot nanny has a ring to it this be our first annual Halloween hoot nanny we can do this every year hoot nanny makes it sound like there's going to be cloggers you know those people that that tuck in their shirts and they the girls have the big skirts and they just kind of kick their feet a whole bunch of things like a square dance or some sort of some sort of shenanigans around hay bales.
SPEAKER_02What's a box social? A formal hoot nanny that's what it starts off as and then it then it degrades into a hoot nanny by the time all the moonshine makes its way around I have no idea but it sounds like something that happens like on boxing day which I also don't understand. Is it about boxes do they watch boxing? It's not the sport it's it's the show like an independence day thing or something I don't know whatever it's any of our if you're one of our Canadian fans we're sorry.
SPEAKER_01Yeah let us know let us know what we don't know about boxing day story and I don't intend on looking it up so we're gonna need some help unless it falls on a Tuesday thanks for listening everybody make sure to get a hold of us at split the corner podcast on all your major social media platforms we are available by email split the corner podcast at gmail dot com cast take us out buddy we're not buying the next round but because it's chef's day guys are all welcome to a shifty cheers