Split the Corner Podcast
2 ex bartenders have their favorite bar conversations. Your home for phone down bar discussions on movies, music, sports, history, hypotheticals and whatever else we feel like.
Split the Corner Podcast
Season 2, Episode 5: Hot Takes on Fall Activities
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Well, it's that time of year again...the leaves are starting to change colors, there is a slight chill in the air, we're replacing sundresses and board shorts with sweat pants and sweaters. About 98% of the sports fan world is completely disgusted with their baseball and football teams. Ah...autumn; what a wonderful time of year. On today's episode of STC, Kaz and Kyle are celebrating National Taco Day and explaining why, if you are serving someone tongue in their taco, you have to tell them. Additionally, the guys are jumping into just what makes the season of fall tick and whether or not they have some strong opinions of fall-related activities. Here is a little spoiler alert: they have some hot takes (cue the sound effect).
Welcome to Split the Corner. What can we get you?
SPEAKER_01Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, listeners all over the place. Welcome to the Split the Corner podcast season two. My name is Kaz. With me as always, Kyle. We're going to talk some things and stuff today. Kyle, how are you feeling?
SPEAKER_00Kaz, I'm um I'm going to get up on a soapbox for a moment, if I may. And uh to all those of you who do not care about the state of Philadelphia sports, now would be a good time to fast forward a couple minutes because I'm going to use this platform that we have to air some grievances. And I'm going to start with the Eagles. Because what we saw, we're recording this on Monday. It will go out tomorrow on Tuesday, meaning when people hear this, there will have been two days to process the absolute dumpster fire of a football game that we saw yesterday. And I don't think it'll be enough to wash the stink off. Do you know the craziest statistic I saw about that football game where we were up on the Rams 20 to 10 and end up losing in the last minute and a half? Do you know what the craziest statistic is I saw is that the Eagles went 0 and 12 on third down conversions? 0 and 12.
SPEAKER_01That's not how you win football games.
SPEAKER_00That's not how you win football games. Jalen Hurts looked like he never played football before. The offensive line was trash. I mean, Saquon going down didn't help. Devontae Smith not being in didn't help. I mean, our entire lineup got banged up. Cooper Dejean went out. Quinyon Mitchell went out. I mean, for God's sake, it was a freaking bloodbath. But the state of that franchise is such that yes, I know that we are two years removed from a Super Bowl victory. But to be honest with you, the way that they looked on Sunday, if they don't figure it out, I say burn it to the ground and let's start over again.
SPEAKER_01It's real hard to be four games into the seat. Like I understand the first week is kind of everybody's figuring it out, and you're like, all right, well, I gotta win. Are we a good team or a bad team? Did we beat a good team or a bad team? You're week four, and the only thing that you can point to the team doing right as a collective is punting.
SPEAKER_00And they're getting an awful lot of practice at punting. It's just, I mean, they look out of sorts, they don't look like they they know what they're doing. The game plan is is is awful every week so far for a whole month now. Either it's too scripted or it's not scripted enough. I mean, they're just lost. And Jalen Hurts is a guy that I've tried to defend on many occasions, not on this podcast, because I don't think we've ever taken a real deep dive into Eagles football. But in my outside of the podcast life, Jalen Hurts is a guy that I've defended for years, and I don't think I can do it anymore. The guy doesn't have any zip on the ball. He's not leading his receivers. There were two balls that I can think of in particular that if he had hit them in stride, we're looking at either an additional 15 yards or a touchdown. It's just, it's awful. The defense looks terrible. I mean, this is a Vic Fangio defense. I mean, they've been they've been on point for two and a half years, three years, whatever it is. And they let that happen yesterday. They didn't look like they knew what they were doing. I mean, the whole thing just is looks like it's collapsing in on itself. And it starts with Sirianni. And god damn it, Coach Sirianni, what do you actually do? You've got a 33-year-old offensive play caller, and you've got a defensive play caller, and they're all up in the booth, and all you're doing is calling a dude a pussy in that game two weeks ago. That's all you do, is you just yell at other players. Like, what do you actually do?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's it's real easy to be like, oh, well, he's the leadership glue that holds it all together when it's all together. But if no one's holding it together and no one's making the calls, and no one's doing anything to win, then bro, what do you bring to the table? And and why can't we get it from someone else?
SPEAKER_00You're a Super Bowl winning coach. A lot of this team is still uh was there in 2024. A lot of the same guys are still here. But the the the the cliff that they have fallen off in terms of ability to play a complete football game is absolutely maddening. And the problem with the Eagles being a very, very good franchise for the last decade plus is the fact that now that the expectations are so high that we've won two Super Bowls. I mean, you remember the early 2000s, you know, uh the middle 201s or whatever, where this team was hot garbage, the 90s, my god.
SPEAKER_01I remember 2016, and the vibe around the city was please just make the playoffs. Yeah. Like, let's just get a playoff game in Philadelphia, and now it is Super Bowl or bust, which I I get is an unfair expectation, but you don't have enough games in the season to figure it out as you go. You know, like I'm I'm checking games off, like it doesn't matter how you win, there aren't a whole lot of these. We need to just get it done. And and that seems to be what everybody considers the strength of this Sirianni Jalen Hurts tandem is that like they find ways to win. Lately, it seems like they find ways to lose.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I'm telling you right now, man, either they get it together or you're going to see Sirianni out of a job. You're gonna see them start hunting for a quarterback. Yesterday. 93 yards in a professional setting. And I understand that you got rid of AJ Brown, and now you're div you're looking at a I don't want to say completely over the hill, Zach Hurts as your tight end because Dallas Goddard got hurt. You're looking at at Devontae Smith, who I think is a true number one, and he was out yesterday, but you cannot in this league throw for 93 yards and expect to win the football game.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, unless snowing and you're running it, but there's no run game either. So again, the only thing that like if I was scouting the Eagles for next, first of all, they're in London on Sunday, which, you know, considering all we do correctly is kick, bring on a London game. Um but but I I I don't think we I don't think we're gonna transition translate that into a win over there, regardless of how much they appreciate that part of the game.
SPEAKER_00It's just it's just so frustrating. And with all that out there, let me turn my attention to the Philadelphia Phillies, who yet again have proven that just saying we're gonna run it back is not good enough. They've run the same team for four years in a row, five years in a row. They've run it all back. Oh, yeah, we're one piece away, we're one piece away. No, you're not. No, you're not. He re-signed a 400-year-old catcher who batted 203 for the year. I love me some JT Real Muto, but I love JT Real Muto when he could actually hit the ball. And by the way, his arm isn't what it used to be. So guys are stealing bases left and right. Bryce Harper pulled a full Shawn Michaels and lost his smile a couple of years ago. And it's very evident, and we talked about it on this same podcast a few months ago. Your question to me was, are we fucked? The answer should have been a definitive yes, because that team is not the one that's going to get it done all over the field. You've got your your what your core is the youngest guy, is 33 years old. Come on. You've got horrible contracts on that team. There's no way to improve them. There is no easy pathway to to getting this thing back on track. And I wouldn't be surprised if we do have baseball next year, which is a big if due to this whole money thing between the N uh MLB Players Association and the owners. But if we do have baseball and the Phillies have not done enough to get Bryce Harper what he needs, I would not be surprised if he waves his no trade con uh clause and goes and tries to get himself a ring. That's the only thing he's missing. But this iteration of the Phillies was disappointing from the jump. They had one good month where everybody was like, oh yeah, the Phillies are back. Hooray! And guess what? No, they weren't.
SPEAKER_01Well, and that month hurts so much because it's a glimpse at what they could have been. Because they didn't do anything amazing. No one went on a ridiculous run that, like, you know, it's not like Schwarber put up 30 home runs in 30 days, and we're talking about a an unbelievable, you know, never seen again thing. All they did was walk more. Like it was literally just stop swinging at the damn first pitch. That's it. That's all they did. I mean, I give I give the slightest bit of leeway to the fact that injuries suck, and the core that we just watched struggle is the same core that we watched struggle last year, and the same core that we watched struggle three years ago. And last year they tried with Bader and he got hurt just in time for the playoffs. And this year we tried with Aryes and he got hurt just in time for the playoffs. My so it the tiniest bit, like I wouldn't even call it like it's not even an excuse, it's just an acknowledgement that this happened. But if anything, it makes me more upset because you didn't do enough. Like you let the exact same thing happen again. You didn't you brought in one guy, thought he was gonna turn the whole thing around because all we needed was one spark plug. We don't need one spark plug. We need to change the way we hit. Like live by the home run, die by the home run, and like Kyle Schwarber giving me two more days of baseball, but it wasn't really worth it.
SPEAKER_00When Kyle Schwarber, after the home run derby, hits what, 13 in the same amount of time that he hit 31. Like, come on, man. Like, I mean, I listen, and I understand baseball's real hard. I can't do it. I'm just some dude behind a microphone in my 40s who has never hit a home run in his life. But damn it, I've tattooed this team on me. This is never gonna go away. This is a team I pay attention to at a minuscule level level, microscopic level, I think is a better word. I pay attention to this team all year round. And we set it going in. If this happens and this happens and this happens, cool, and we'll be okay. But if it doesn't happen, we're gonna be out of luck. And we were. And when you can sit here and say that the only offensive weapon that you had at your disposal from about mid-August until the playoffs was Alec Bohm. Something ain't right.
SPEAKER_01And he finally put up some some games and some stats and some numbers where I felt like maybe we don't need to talk about trading him in the offseason. At this point, I'd probably move Trey Turner.
SPEAKER_00Um I would love them to move Trey Turner, but that's still six years of contract on a what 300 million.
SPEAKER_01Let's watch on that. Let's wait and see, right? Because and maybe we'd maybe we do a bonus episode during the lockout or whatever when it all comes and comes and goes. Um, but let's let's see what the collective bargaining agreement looks like and what they do to the salary cap, because these things always have a salary cap clause, and maybe they come out the other side with teams willing to pay m I don't see who's buying out that contract though. Nope. I I can't see anybody taking a chance on the third coming. We were supposed to be the second coming of Trey Turner. Like this the third coming of Trey Turner.
SPEAKER_00That's sorry, buddy. Not gonna have it. You are no Julio Franco, my friend. Anyway, now that I've gotten all of that out of my system, and I appreciate you all staying with us for those of you who did. But let's move on to happier things and wish our entire audience happy national taco day. Happy Taco Day, everyone. Happy Taco Day. And for our friends in the Midwest, happy taco day. Tacos. Did you like some tacos? Are you a hard shell guy or soft shell guy?
SPEAKER_01I have well, so I'm both, but I I do have a hot take. I need to I need to make an admission.
SPEAKER_00We need to get a sound effect for hot takes. Like, I've got a hot take. I'm gonna work on that. Coming in season three, hot take sound effects.
SPEAKER_01My hot take is that I don't like traditional tacos. I don't you go to like a Mexican restaurant and they're like, we make the most authentic tacos, and they give you like the double flower tortilla with like some chicken and some onions and some cilantro, and then they like put a lime on it, and they're like, it's so good. And I'm like, Where? I need I need American. When I crave tacos, I crave American tacos. I want lettuce and tomato and cheese and sour cream and you know, maybe a little guacamole. Like, I I want I want I want the full Taco Bell American taco experience.
SPEAKER_00I love ground beef tacos. I love them. Ground beef tacos are probably my favorite, but I'm I'm I'm I'm kind of with you. Although I will say, um I had uh uh an 18-hour stint in Long Beach, California, uh years ago for a work thing I was doing, and I went to like a random mom and pop tacos spot, and I just told them to bring me five of the tacos that they like the best. And one of them was ground beef, the other like two of them were chicken, one of them was steak, I think one of them was pork, and they did like just little things, like shredded radish, like a little couple little things like this. And those, yeah, they were like the best tacos I've ever eaten, but they were small, and I think that's where the American taco is the winner, because in all things American, they are much bigger.
SPEAKER_01I think tacos in America are or like at least the way that you know we make them here are well and I'm down go nuts, like experiment in terms of you know, a taco is is what meat and and a coutremont in the same as a tortilla.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's the same as a cheesesteak. It's a tortilla and brown beer and meat. It's meat.
SPEAKER_01So at some point, you know, do whatever makes you happy. I I go, there's a spot out in Pittsburgh, and then there's a whole bunch of them throughout the Midwest called Condado Tacos. Um, not affiliated, but would love to be. You can sponsor me with a gift card. Um they they make super ridiculous tacos. It's like everything that Taco Bell ever dreamed up, but make it in an actual restaurant with like real ingredients and not fast food stuff. So they have like Gorditas and like you could do like the soft shell with the hard shell in it, and and then all sorts of stuff inside and then the hot queso and the and the Doritos locos and all that nonsense. And that's like a must-stop for me when I'm traveling through the Midwest. I have to like find the Condado tacos and pull off and and stuff myself on just massive amounts of of tacos. What's the most amount of tacos you've ever eaten in one sitting? Oh, I'm I'm dating myself. There was a restaurant a long time ago used to do dollar tacos on on, I think it was Mondays, and I've done 14 in a sitting.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_01We sat for a while in in my defense. It's it wasn't like a was it wasn't like some sort of eating competition. I didn't win nothing. Um, but we we hung out and people came and went, and then we would tell you know, round of drinks, and then yeah, I'll do a couple more tacos and and a dollar of taco, you know, why not?
SPEAKER_00You're not breaking the bank. And I think tacos are one of those things that are kind of synonymous with pizza, or like you don't usually like there's not really bad pizza, like even bad pizza isn't that bad. And like not great tacos are really not that bad. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's a hard thing to mess up. You know, as long as everything is cooked, you're just you're just putting, you know, putting meat in a roll. It does give me, I do, I do wonder. Uh let me know where you stand on this. Is a hot dog a taco?
SPEAKER_00Dude, no, it's a sandwich. We've already been through this. I don't know, maybe a taco. It's not a taco, because it's not a tortilla. I think the tortilla is what makes it a taco.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but it's closed on three sides in a U shape, much like a tortilla.
SPEAKER_00But it's made out of wheat and not corn.
SPEAKER_01But they have corn and flour tortillas.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's good. Bread is made out of flour. Listen, I'm putting my foot down.
SPEAKER_01Put a bunch of toppings on it just like a hot dog. I'm putting my foot down.
SPEAKER_00A hot dog is a sandwich.
SPEAKER_01A hot dog while you walk just like a hot dog.
SPEAKER_00It's not a taco.
SPEAKER_01You can get them for a dollar at your favorite sports games, just like a hot dog. R.I.P. dollar dog night. No.
SPEAKER_00Listen, if you're hot taking sound effect, if that's what you're looking for, was a hot take sound effect comparing hot dogs and tacos, you are not getting it, my friend. There will be no post-production sound effects for you on that one.
SPEAKER_01No, I I think the hot take is the disappointment in our Latino community listeners when they're gonna find out that I'm only a fan of the fake Americanized tacos. That's that's like it's like all the Italian listeners. If you're like, oh yeah, I love Italian food, fettuccine alfredo, delicious. Like swing and miss, guys. Sorry.
SPEAKER_00Forget the mariner. I went to a place one time um where when I was a liquor rep, and it was me and another guy, and and he spoke fluent Spanish, and we went to this place where the the chef was um was Mexican and spoke a little bit of English, but they had a much easier time communicating when the two of them would talk. So one day we were in there and she offered to feed us, and I thought, this is great. I'm gonna get these like gourmet eyes tacos, and everything's gonna be terrific. And so uh on the plate was two different tacos. One of them uh was pork, which I devoured in I think three bites. And I mean, I think three bites probably right around your average for a solid taco, is is three bites. So uh on the second one, it I didn't recognize it, looked like beef kind of. So I took a bite and it was very oddly textured and a little chewier than I like. I don't really like chewy meat. And uh this had a particular taste that I had never really experienced before. And when I asked what it was, um, I was informed that I had been fed tongue. And I was a little repulsed. I mean, I think if you're gonna serve somebody tongue, give them a heads up. But at the same time, I'm not a rude individual, so I didn't want it to look like I was a little green around the gills from having an animal's tongue in my mouth, which is you know, you eat their other parts, but whatever. But my point is if you're gonna serve somebody tongue, you gotta tell them. And I ate two bites of it. I ate another bite after I was informed that it was tongue because I didn't want to be rude.
SPEAKER_01I really couldn't do anymore. I really hope that someone clips this episode and makes that statement part of like some sort of consent movement that, like, if you're gonna feed somebody Tongue, you gotta tell them. You can't just feed somebody tongue without their consent, you know?
SPEAKER_00Like it's like if you serve somebody Rocky Mountain oysters, you have to tell them that it's testicles. It's the same concept.
SPEAKER_01I've I've had tongue tacos, it's a texture thing. Um that's I you know, I I also have a tendency when when you see a fish taco on a menu, I I kind of need to ask what kind of fish we're putting in those things.
SPEAKER_00I'll mess up some fish tacos, dude.
SPEAKER_01Max Tavern in old city back in the day. All all the just go nuts, man.
SPEAKER_00But whatever they were doing at Max Tavern, R. A. P Max Tavern, that was my favorite bar in Philadelphia. But they had these fish tacos that were out of this world, and it wasn't anything special. Little Pico, a little breaded cod or something, but my god, was it good? Um, Kaz, did you notice that I'm enjoying my favorite adult beverage? A delicious Sam Adams Oktoberfest. Again, not sponsored, but could be. We're here for it. I think it's just the title of this episode is just gonna be pandering for sponsorship.
SPEAKER_01Some change. Excuse me, sir.
SPEAKER_00You can pay me in beer, I don't care. Beer and tacos. That's right. Oh, what a wonderful combination. Oh, that'd be great. But it got me thinking about the fact that this is a very um finite amount of time that I get to enjoy these Oktoberfests, these Marzens styles, as you so succinctly explained to us in our beer episode back in season one. And it got me thinking about fall in general and more specifically fall activities. And I wonder where you land on fall activities, because I've got a hot take. Hot takes about fall activities. I was gonna catch on. But I'm I'm wondering where do you fall in the in in fall in general, where do you fall in fall? Thank you. In general, but more specifically, are there some fall activities that you're you're into or not into?
SPEAKER_01I'm into let's call it 95% of fall activities. Right? I I have a I I would prefer to stay out of the haunted houses. I don't need someone jumping out at me because I paid them money. Life is hard enough. Uh, you know, uh a hayride, you know, haunted hayride, those can be fun sometimes. I like watching the kids freak out. Um, you know, so I'll you you could you could you could pull me around your farm and let people run out in costume. I'll support that. All those young actors that you know need to do something in the fall once the Renaissance fair goes away, that's the throwback. This is gonna be my big break. This year they let me pick my own mask.
SPEAKER_00Doing a lot of makeup art. Doing a lot of blood work. Wait till they get a load of me.
SPEAKER_01Well, and where do you think those makeup artists come from? They're all local people, you know, trying to cut their teeth. So I'm I'm down for, you know, you you can pull me around. But I'm not. It's the same thing with horror movies. Like when when Halloween comes rolling around, I I like, you know, I'll watch Casper, I'll watch Practical Magic, I'll watch you know, the Addams Family one and two and the animated one and the other animated one, and all I'm I'm down for all that. I don't I'm not a big horror movie guy, and when I do, I prefer kind of conceptual horror than like jump scares. Don't don't jump scare me. It's just at it at some point it just gets annoying, and I I I tap out. But other than that, sign me up. I'm down for all the fall activities. It's it's finally the time of year that I can go outside without sweating through a shirt. So, you know, let's let's go be outside and enjoy the moment.
SPEAKER_00There are a lot of things I enjoy about fall. I enjoy the beer, obviously, football. The Eagles aren't terrible. I enjoy trick-or-treating with my kids because I get to eat like 90% of the candy because I've come to find out that about a week after trick-or-treat, they forget the candy is there. And that's awesome for me. But I will say there are there's one fall activity in particular that I just I hate doing, and I try to find reasons to get out of it, but then I'm wrangled in because I get the whole, well, the kids are only gonna be this old for so long and blah blah blah. And I'm like, God damn it, okay, I'll go. But I hate going to those farms to do apple picking and looking at homemade crafts that are fall themed and it smells bad. There's all like you go into the uh the the converted barn that they've turned into like a makeshift shanty town of different booths and things that people are selling their their homemade earthenwares and things like that, their their magic wands to go back to the Renaissance Fair episode. But it always smells vaguely like potpourri, but like it was it stopped working a week ago. It's homemade incense. It that smell gets me, dude.
SPEAKER_01I uh I'm uh at a loss because I kind of get the whole you know, like I don't need to why do I have to pick the apples for you? Can't I just wait until you get them to the grocery store and I'll I'll just meet you there. Um same thing with pumpkins, like these things are heavy, and why don't like and the kid never wants the one that's closest to the car, and they do that crap on purpose. So, so I kind of get that aspect of it, but the only thing that saves it for me are these are these little farm fests where they're like, you can come buy this, you know, hand-burned cutting board and oh, by the way, pet this donkey. And I'm like, oh, cool, with like a coffee in my hand, and I'm just gonna walk around and watch leaves change color and enjoy being out. So like if they make a whole day out of it, I'm I'm in. But the the concept of like come pick this food for yourself is kind of weird, and we don't do it for like broccoli. So I don't I don't I don't quite understand what food we have to get ourselves and what food we don't have to get ourselves. Like, wouldn't it be just as fun to go pick your own Brussels sprouts?
SPEAKER_00It's arbitrary. They decided that apples were a fall flavor. Someone did. I don't know who it was.
SPEAKER_01I if and well, if anything, okay, and I'm I'm gonna put this out there, and and I'll take a minor royalty to anyone that pulls this off. If anything, pick your own potatoes. Because that's like digging up treasure, right? You you don't know what size potato you're gonna get until you start digging, you know, then you dig it up and you're like, wow, look, I found you know, cold potatoes. We're having mashed potatoes tonight, and then there's a big one. Like, and and then they're gonna charge you by pound anyway. So, like, you're just doing their job. Like, apple picking, man, you you get this giant, and they always get you for like way more money than you would spend on apples in the store. You go into the store, you're like, oh, look, it's in a nice little bag, it's $8.99. You know, I'll take this. You go apple picking and you're like, wow, look at this apple I found. It's the size of my head. And while you're walking out, the dude at the register is like, that apple's $42. And you can't put it back because now you feel like you've rescued it. So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna turn around and chuck it into the field? So no, you you've committed to this apple and you've got to take it home now. So $42 later, you went apple picking today.
SPEAKER_00I think that what's messed up is that they are charging you for your own labor. Exactly. That's messed up. It's all a money grab now, man. It's all a money grab. They're putting apple flavored churros out there and and and hot cider, and everything has to taste like pumpkin. And by the way, can we just land on that for a second? Pumpkin is gross. I don't care what you say, I don't care who you are, pumpkin is gross.
SPEAKER_01Pie.
unknownGross.
SPEAKER_01I like pumpkin pie. Gross. I will I do think that pumpkin has taken over the spotlight, and there are a lot of fall things. Like, I think there's a lot that can be done with apple that we're overlooking for the sake of yay, pumpkin. I think cranberry doesn't get its fair share. Like, all right, cool, these are all like fall harvest fruits. Pomegranate is a fall harvest fruit. So, like, why can't we share the spotlight? Why can't they why can't they sit down and go, look, apple gets cider, pumpkin gets coffee. You know, to divide these lines in the sand and then and then stay in your lane.
SPEAKER_00And keep your pumpkin out of my beer.
SPEAKER_01Right? Like cider, pumpkin gets coffee.
SPEAKER_00It's you know what it is, man. Like, once in a one gets beer. It was okay when there was like three pumpkin beers, and everybody was like, Oh, yeah, look, look how rare and wonderful this is. And now everybody, every brewery, every major installation has has at least a pumpkin beer, if not a couple of them. And they're mixing and matching, they're like, check out this triple hop pumpkin IPA, and you're going, why, man?
SPEAKER_01Well, and that was there was a distinct moment in time for everyone that's waiting for the restaurant tidbit of this episode. I'm gonna put it right here. Uh, there was a distinct moment in time when pumpkin beers killed their own segment of the market. Uh, it was I'm gonna say about 2015. I know there's gonna be some beer nerds in the in the comments that are gonna check me on this, but there was one year where pumpkin beers went completely off the rail, and everybody was like, oh my god, we can't get enough pumpkin beer. And then the next year, everyone came out with pumpkin beers too much, too many, too soon. And and I was running a spot uh out in central Pennsylvania, so I'm only speaking to the Northeast version of this bubble, but um I remember specifically having to have my pumpkin beer order in for all of the major distributors, so like six different companies worth of pumpkin beers so that I could line up my taps for the whole season had to be in by 4th of July weekend. That's outrageous. So when the kegs all showed up in September, what the heck are you supposed to do with them? And then what was even worse, and this is what really this is what really killed it, what was even worse is that mid-November all the salespeople came around with their tails between their legs and said, Hey, we've got this extra pumpkin beer, we don't know what to do with. And that's when everybody went, I put paperwork in in July. I've been sitting on crap for a month, and you mean to tell me I could have just had it now? So it never happened again. Like after that, the whole I feel like the whole restaurant world was like, ha, fool me once, and it killed the pumpkin beer phenomenon.
SPEAKER_00You know, but the thing is, I I can't even say that killed it because it's still there. I mean, maybe not nearly as as bad as it was, because I remember that too. But I mean, it still just seems excessive. There who's drinking all this pumpkin beer.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's it's all IPA, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was I and I'm sitting here looking for like, well, what's the traditional, you know, because no, you're supposed to be drinking Oktoberfest. You're supposed to be switching to dark beer season, you know, get yourself brown ale, drink a porter, figure out what your stout plan's gonna be for the winter. You know, like the beer should be getting darker, but instead we've found another way to not drink dark beer, and we're gonna switch to pumpkin beers and and you know, back to our whole mantra of like drink what you like, no one cares. But pumpkin beers are hard for me because they get crapped on constantly and then drank by the same people that crap on them. You know, like and you've seen those people, you've seen those people out in in the world that are like, yeah, pumpkin beers are ridiculous, but let me try that new pumpkin chocolate one. Yeah, yeah, I don't like this. I couldn't have more than one of these, but I'll I'll have one. And then next thing you know, that that you're selling out of kegs of the stuff, and they're all going to dudes because the women are all drinking cider.
SPEAKER_00Or do you remember when pumpkin spice martinis were the thing?
SPEAKER_01I was just gonna say pumpkin espresso martinis. Oh crap. Pumpkin spice latte season has worked its way.
SPEAKER_00When you have to rim it with graham cracker because why wouldn't you? Oh my god. I'll tell you a uh a fall activity that I'm glad has gone by the wayside is bobbing for apples. Looking back on that, how gross is that? Especially like when you're like there's little kids involved because they can't control the things that come out of their mouth or their nose, and they're dipping their faces in there and they're getting all that water up in them, they're blowing out the air from their nose, which is causing other stuff to come out. They're licking all the apples, and now I have to stick my face in there. No, thank you. And I haven't seen it in a long time. I think people wised up to it. It's like drinking the beer out of the beer pond cup. I think people wised up to it, you know.
SPEAKER_01It's the fall equivalent of like, just just bring your own. Why don't you just bring your own bucket? Like that's every time I've seen it recently, probably for that reason, it's been like a line of kids at a table and they each have their own, you know, like their own, I don't know what I want to call it, a foot bath. It's like a like a Tupperware thing that they're about to dip their face in, and it's got like three or four apples in it, and it's not like, you know, it's not like it was for us, because I remember those parties when like I remember the metal, like the metal, uh like oblong metal bucket that was like real deep, and they'd fill it with hose water and it's frigid. Yeah, and the bucket rusty because it was somebody's dad's like beer cooler all summer long, and they're just going to repurpose it.
SPEAKER_00There was a definite tang to the water. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, you're not supposed to drink the water.
SPEAKER_00It's getting in there.
SPEAKER_01In the words of every parent from back then. What are you drinking the water for?
SPEAKER_00I'm literally open-mouthed in a bucket of rusty water that your little brother just got done sneezing in. And I've got to pick this thing up with my teeth.
SPEAKER_01Apples don't fit in my mouth anyway.
SPEAKER_00That's right. I mean, the little I mean, how are you getting the apple? How are you getting the apple in there, man? You're like seven years old. They're putting giant ass granny smiths in there. You're not chomping down on that thing. The physics of it don't make sure. I'm glad that I'm glad that went away. Or at least that it's not as popular as it once was. I mean, uh think about how many kids got, you know, the flu or chicken pox because some kid that was a carrier dunked their entire head in there and then laughed. Ha ha ha ha ha. I'm glad that we've smartened up.
SPEAKER_01It is, it is a particularly looking back on that one, got some health concerns. Um, that being said, I I don't like well, and I alright, so so two things. First of all, I'm glad you started with with kind of a sports rant because I do think of sports first when it comes to fall. Like I do believe that fall is the best time of year to be a sports fan. Uh, you know, if you're if you're a baseball fan, you've got playoffs coming, hopefully you're around for that. You know, your soccer seasons are just starting over in Europe, soon to be MLS. You've got, you know, you've got your basketball season right around the corner, hockey season starting up, football season starting up, and all of these things are bigger in the fall because you don't know yet. Like, yes, you have all the championship games in the spring, but only two teams make it to the championship game. So come fall, you know, Cincinnati's still got a chance. You know, Cleveland's still got a chance. The the Raiders still have a chance. You know, like it everybody's optimistic. It's the best time to be a sports fan. Uh, and then, you know, the Phillies and the and the Eagles kind of looseied our football a little bit. And now I'm like, all right, well, let's find some other fall activities due, because I'm not watching baseball, and then the Eagles can, you know, take it or leave it. So that's where I'm I'm grateful for these uh for these, you know, these fall activities and these and these flea markets and and all that stuff. But uh the the flip side of that coin is I I kinda hate what's happened to Halloween. In general, or like we don't trick or treat anymore. I there's this I understand that there's like a safety concern of kids going from house to house and all that, but we've converted most of these neighborhoods into these trunker treats where like everybody pulls into the parking lot and they all back in towards the middle, and then you open your trunk and you like decorate it with like Halloween stuff, and then the kids in their costumes walk from trunk to trunk to trunk to trunk to trunk to trunk, and you just give them stuff. But even like even in the city, right? We would take the kids trick-or-treating, and like you're not supposed to knock on doors if you're if you're participating in trick-or-treating, you're supposed to sit out on the front steps with the candy in the bowl already, so that the kids don't have to go up and knock on your door. And and I hate it because there was a lesson hidden in Halloween, and it was that kind of general, you know, that general front door etiquette of like knock on the door, wait for them to answer, announce yourself, they're gonna give you some candy, you're gonna say thank you, then you're gonna walk away. And like the muscle memory of doing that 40, 50 times a night, if you know, if you're a lucky kid, was important. And now we just like you could just stand the kid in a field and let the grown-ups throw candy at him, and it would be the exact same thing.
SPEAKER_00Nah man, my neighborhood, there's trigger training in my neighborhood, and I don't trunk or I mean ugh again, I get it, safety concerns and all that, but like you're walking with your kid. And if you are a parent worth your salt, you're gonna at least, you know, run a hand over most of the candy before they consume it. I just yeah, I think you know, it's that's a good point, man. I mean, the safety concerns, I get all of that, and it only takes one, you know. But why are we not letting kids be kids? Why are we essentially trying to destroy these things that like I have great memories of trick-or-treating? I don't want my kids to miss out on that. That would suck. And again, I get like 80% of their candy because they forget about it. And I'm on board for it.
SPEAKER_01Is is a wonderful thing. Oh, that's out of sight, out of mind, real quick.
SPEAKER_00Hell yeah. I just think. You know, we do live in a really messed up time in human history in terms of things that we as parents have to be concerned about. But like if you're with your kids and you're you know paying attention and not being a delinquent yourself, you know, chances are things are gonna be cool. But I just don't like the idea of of just saying, nah, dude, no trigger treating. Like, yeah, let's go get into somebody. See, what but the trunker treat's weird because like now you're expecting to go into a stranger's car.
SPEAKER_01That's what I'm saying. Like, don't get too close to the car. Like, I don't want I don't want my kids walking up to your car and pulling something out of your trunk. I I don't love that either. Like, and and then again, what are we left with? We're just gonna let's just line them up and throw candy at them. You know, happy Halloween, whatever. It just it it it removes some of the ceremony, right? Like that's Halloween, that's what we do on Thanksgiving. We do other things on and and I think I any this is another thing I find strange because I was I I was thinking about this episode the other night, and I was trying to put into words what I like about fall, because I think fall is my favorite season, but I I think it's because I love Christmas so much that fall begins the preparation of Christmas time. You know, you get that chill in the air, you start thinking about what gifts you're gonna be getting people, and then it's we call it holiday season, and I don't know why we call it holiday season, because there's holidays in every season.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but it's major holidays. Like you're not comparing Halloween to Flag Day, or Thanksgiving to Arbor Day, or Christmas to Indigenous People's Day.
SPEAKER_01Summer's got a good run of uh, you know, between Memorial Day and Fourth of July, and you know, like summer's got a good run of there could be a summer holiday season.
SPEAKER_00What 4th of July, Labor Day, Memorial Day, who cares?
SPEAKER_01America.
SPEAKER_00Fair enough. Well, listen, I understand about Christmas. I love Christmas too, you know. But here's the thing, dude. Uh about two weeks ago, which would have made it the toward the end of September, I went into uh a local uh hardware store. And by local I mean it's near my house. It's a chain hardware store lows, and they had already moved their Halloween decorations off to the side and now have a big fuck you Christmas display right in the middle of when you walk in. It was September, dude. Can we agree that that's a little much? Can we get through Halloween? Can we can we enjoy what we are enjoying instead of having people go out there and buy all their Christmas crap already? Can we do Halloween first? We don't do Christmas movies in my house until December. Full stop. Make it special, make it a a small window of time because that's all you only get it once a year. But if you spread it out over six months, it doesn't be it's not fun anymore. It's not special anymore.
SPEAKER_01I will start mid-November. Um, but I don't start with anything worthwhile. I will put on garbage Hallmark Christmas movies, I'll put on you know, I'll watch Home Alone 5, you know, like I'll I'll watch the ones that have of very little consequence. But again, I've justified this because mid-November is when I'm like, all right, it's time to get ready for Thanksgiving. And Thanksgiving is the beginning of the Christmas holiday, so I'm getting ready to start Christmas so I can watch, but you gotta get through Halloween first. And you've got to get Thanksgiving, it's due. Like, there's two Thanksgiving movies, there's like eight Friends episodes, there's things you can watch. You know, just give it a little bit of time. Tell the ground. Let's not rush through these things so far.
SPEAKER_00So why is in the middle of September do you have the largest Christmas tree decoration, blow-up thing, light displays that I've ever seen in my life? It's September. My kids didn't even have their Halloween costumes yet. Yeah, I went out and bought them today. I think that we can I think we can all agree. Give Halloween's due. Don't bob for apples. Stop making the barn smell like potpourri. Bring your own bucket. Stop trying to sell me a broom that you made with freaking a stick outside and some discarded hay. It doesn't do anything. Is that cinnamon? Did you make a whole broom out of cinnamon? It's just gonna make the floor dirtier.
SPEAKER_01It is it is impressive to see what the woodworkers have burned the Grateful Dead logo into this year.
SPEAKER_00See, those guys I'm here for.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like you can get a whole set of you know cutting boards and chess pieces and wooden cooking spoons, and and I'll go talk to those guys about the summer of 85 tour while you go and get your pumpkin spice latte rabbit. Well, but here's the thing that pisses me off, and this takes us back to the Renaissance fair because here you are at Fall Fest 26 in the great outdoors, and you get to tent number one, and this guy's got all sorts of woodworking, and he's he's a hippie, and he's been around, and he's gonna talk to you about the dead, and you know, there's there's Grateful Dead playing in the background, and and you're having this whole conversation, and and you're like, man, this woodworking is awesome, and I really love what you did with this cutting board. And then you get four tents down, and that hippie's got the same damn cutting board. Well, now what am I supposed to believe that you guys both happen to stumble upon woodworking and make the what are you, twins?
SPEAKER_00Either way, I bet they've got some good stories. If you'd like to get involved in the conversation, hit us up. We are at split the corner podcast at gmail.com at split the corner podcast on all of your major social media brigamoroles. Kaz, anything to add before we wrap this bad boy up?
SPEAKER_01Look for more comments and contents and all sorts of fun stuff coming soon on socials. We're gonna try and be more active. So help us out. Tell us what you want to see.
SPEAKER_00Hopefully, it's not the way my hair looks right now. Goodness gracious, I just realized I'd look insane. That's neither here nor there. Thanks for listening, everybody.
SPEAKER_01As always, pumpkin beer is on us.
SPEAKER_00No. Nope, you're buying that shit yourself. Cheers.