Split the Corner Podcast
2 ex bartenders have their favorite bar conversations. Your home for phone down bar discussions on movies, music, sports, history, hypotheticals and whatever else we feel like.
Split the Corner Podcast
Season 2, Episode 3: The Renaissance Faire Cometh
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Good morrow, M'Lord's and M'Ladies! Welcome to the Renaissance Faire edition of the Split the Corner Podcast where we are taking a run at these celebrations of medieval culture and trying to figure out what drives this horse-drawn cart year after year. Kaz and Kyle are going through their own personal Ren Faire experiences of yesteryear as well as an updated look from Kaz who had just attended one this past week hence. We're talking Renaissance Faire fashion, the folks who regularly attend, why you can buy foam anime weapons, and breaking up with someone at a Broadway themed diner. Huzzah and merry tidings on Splitteth yon Corner, ye knaves and brigands!
Welcome to Split the Corner. What can we get you?
SPEAKER_01Split the Corner podcast is brought to you by absolutely no one. That's right. We do this whole thing ourselves. Welcome back, guys. This is Kaz. Kyle's on the other side, and we're going to do another episode of Split the Corner.
SPEAKER_00I was just going to say, man, I'd like to take a moment to apologize to everyone who has to listen to me. I'm on the the tail end of what I can only describe as a gorilla cold, as in it came out of nowhere. It dropped me, and now I'm coming back to life. But I've got this like real cool deep voice going on. So maybe I'll add a little sex appeal to the show tonight, buddy.
SPEAKER_01The Phoebe sexy phlegm, right? That's right. The gorilla cold that is that is intensely worthy of a Phil Collins soundtrack.
SPEAKER_00Dude, I the funny thing is, is like it was on Wednesday and I felt it hit me in the middle of the chest, and I went, oh no. And then the very next day on Thursday, all I had was this like really dry cough. And to be completely honest with you, I prefer a wet cough to a dry cough. Those dry coughs hurt, man.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I did I prefer the term productive. Uh productive cough. I do like it when it feels like I'm better off after.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like something came up, I can move on. But I only usually get sick maybe once a year, which is generally surprising to me because you know I have the healthcare routine of a long haul trucker. So I don't necessarily take the best care of myself, but my immune system seems to take good care of me, but except for when it you know goes on holiday once or twice a year.
SPEAKER_01This is a do as I say, not as I do moment for Split the Corner podcast. Guys, look out for your health. You gotta if you don't take care of yourself, no one's going to.
SPEAKER_00Unless you have a killer immune system like I do. That's on vacation right now. Anyway.
SPEAKER_01This is this is a day that I try and live every day. This is the spirit of Christmas that lives in my heart year round. Man, that's what this is.
SPEAKER_00Oh, go ahead, Kaz. Tell us what today is.
SPEAKER_01Ladies and gentlemen, it's Hobbit Day. That's right. Hobbit Day. Um the Lord of the Rings character, the the JRR Tolkien creation, the the little people that live in holes in the ground. Um Hobbit Day. Uh so at Split the Corner, I think I think it's more than a nod to literary creation. Uh I think it's a I think it's a lifestyle moment, right? Like a Hobbit is a is a person that still very much exists in today's society, right? Probably probably a little on the round side, but but nimbler than they look. But uh big fans of occasional adventures, um, but mostly they like to stay at home where it's cozy and their things are and they can they can have lots of little snacks throughout the day and do their gardening and maintain their peace. And I I do, I think I kind of try and carry that with me on a day-to-day. I I do like to venture out and have a good time and come home with stories to tell, but but I like my little hobbit hole and I I like the having my things around me and having a nice peaceful rainy afternoon with a scone. Like I just it's just a great way to live your life. I think we should all be a little more hobbit-like.
SPEAKER_00Except for the feet. In places that perhaps I shouldn't have been, I still say let's watch out for our feet, especially like the hair thing. I always thought that was a very bizarre detail. The hobbits are this fun little class of people, and their one like physical trait that it gets called out is the tops of their feet were very hairy.
SPEAKER_01Body hair is a lifestyle choice, right? That's also true. I I say that I say that flinchingly because it's not my lifestyle choice, but I I do. I regularly remind myself when I'm w when I'm out in specific public spaces, uh that you know, all right, he should have shaved that or she should have shaved that, but you know what? It's not for me. So so it's not my business.
SPEAKER_00That's a solid point. I like that you said about being surrounded by your things, man, because like I'm someone who does like to adventure. I am someone who likes to go out and do things and and have a good time, but like home is where my stuff is. Like I like my stuff and I want to be surrounded by my stuff and have easy access to my stuff.
SPEAKER_01You ever get to that point in a trip where you want your own bed?
SPEAKER_00Surprisingly, more quickly nowadays.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, see, that's the hobbit in you coming out.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01You know, on an adventure, thinking of how nice it would be to be home. Not taking in the beauty of the world that you're seeing, but instead thinking, man, my chair probably misses me right now. You know, that's that's the hobbit talking. That's you know, anytime you skip a meal for the sake of of travel, that's not it that you know, that you're going against it. You get stuck at the airport for eight hours and you decide you're just gonna stick it out. That is not a hobbit-like decision. You know, hobbits would be seeking another meal and a nice cozy place to stay. Be more like hobbits.
SPEAKER_00Well, let me let's drill down here for a second because you are you are a Tolkien nerd, as we have discussed many times on this very program.
SPEAKER_01Proudly.
SPEAKER_00And if it is Hobbit Day, I think we need to to take a minute to discuss this uh in a little more in-depth. Um, if you start speaking uh elvish or something, we're gonna have to cut it. Just know that ahead of time, nerd. But what do you think? Okay, if you had to be a Tolkien like creation, and I'm thinking Lord of the Rings here, so there's hobbits and elves and dwarves and humans. Do you think if you were a human in that uh realm you would feel gypped? Elves are good at everything. Dwarves have some crazy mining abilities or whatever, even hobbits get to just kind of kick it around the shire. But humans are just they got no special abilities, they've got no magic, no nothing. Do you think you would feel gypped as a human?
SPEAKER_01No more or less than I feel gypped as a human right now. You know, I don't I don't particularly feel like the universe placed me in a position in this story that that has me particularly well off. So I I do think, you know, I I wish I was I wish I I wish I was six feet tall. I wish I was, you know, like there are there are lots of things that I that I wish I could be like that I'm sure Tolkien humans wish they could be like the elves or or wish they could be like the hobbits or or something like that. But I I I guess you kind of need those archetypes so that you can push in that direction. Right? Like as a human I can live a hobbit-like life without being a hobbit because hobbits exist.
SPEAKER_00Didn't hobbits have like super weird names too? Like are there like I do Bilbo Baggins is one and I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Aragorn son of Aerathorn really isn't Steve. So you're pulling out of a real weird pot of names to begin with.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but like what if it were what if Aeroth Aragorn's son of Aerothorn was just Dave? Like that's just a Dave of Middle-earth.
SPEAKER_01So it's so common, they go by their last names. It's like it's and it started because they all wanted their kids to sit up front in school.
SPEAKER_00I was just gonna say their kid comes home from school and they're like, Dad, you'll never guess what Aragorn did. Aragorn G? No, Aragorn F.
SPEAKER_01Aragorn with three A's. Like Aeron. That's right. A Aragorn. A A Ragorn. Alright. Completely off the rails. See, um that being said, these are the types of ridiculous people that I found myself amongst this weekend. Um, and it's a weird thing to be. I'm a Tolkien nerd, but I am not a full fantasy nerd. I don't go all the way down that rabbit hole. I go, I go into my little hobbit hole and I stay there. I don't want books about fairy romance. I don't need books about 47,000 elves that all married off to dragons or whatever. I don't, I literally I don't go almost any further into the fantasy realm than Lord of the Rings. Um so this weekend, uh I found myself at the Renaissance fair, which really makes me feel like the cool guy amongst the nerds. I don't I don't know why, but I I just I I feel like I don't feel like I found my people. I feel like going and seeing these people make me feel like I'm not that bad. That's that's how I feel. Have you been to a Renaissance fair? Are you are you with me on this?
SPEAKER_00Oh buddy, I've been to the Pennsylvania Renaissance Fair no less than a dozen times. Uh like growing up, we would go every year. My mom would take my brother and me, and we would go and we'd have a great time, and I'd you know, we'd go and do all the shows and the people that rolled around in the mud and the big human chess game and the joust at the end. And you know, I don't think it was until I got a little bit older, you know, we stopped going when I was a teenager, I think. And then I went again in my late 20s, early 30s with some friends and well, my now wife. And uh I remember looking around going, hmm. And I don't ever want to be the guy that's casting judgment on anyone else. You know, I'm a fish fan, and I know that you know that community gets shit on a good deal and properly, probably for a good reason. But, you know, being part of something maybe that's a little bit off to the side is has made me not want to be a guy that makes fun of others. However, the last time I was at the Renaissance fair, I had a really hard time keeping that mantra of be cool to everybody. I'm not saying anything to anybody's face, but I gotta tell you, just the the material rights itself at these places, dude.
SPEAKER_01I first of all, I I think the I think the elephant in the room is that it's definitely some white people shit. Oh my god. Like this is this is definitely an expression of our cultural heritage in a way that like if your cultural heritage can be summed up in a pickle on a stick and a giant turkey leg, then that's it, guys. Class dismissed, you've seen it. Um but it it is a weird and I I'm surprised to hear because as a fish fan and an ex-theater kid, you would think that it'd be, you know, it'd be a little more up your alley, because it does. It feels like this is what the theater kids have done with that energy now that they've grown up. Like like the athletes get all washed up and go play Sunday League softball and you know, talk about the heydays of of the time that they almost made it to state, but then their knee went, and like the theater kids go to Renfair and talk about the time that they almost got Macbeth, but they'd ended up understudying, and you know, what a shame because they had an actual skull that blah blah blah and they really wanted to do it. Like it just feels like this is where the washed-up theater people ended up.
SPEAKER_00Dude, I I actually went through the process of trying to figure out how to audition for this thing like 20 years ago, right? And it's an actual pretty long process, but I do remember uh talking to a guy I had known in some theater classes and stuff who had been doing it since high school. And he was like talking to me about the process and you know, the accent work and how you have to stay in character all the time and blah, blah, blah. And then he started getting in on like the politicking, which I thought was like the funniest thing in the world because he had been stuck as like a street person for two years or something, and he's like, I'm just trying to get into the nobility, man. I just want to be a duke or an earl or something like that, man. He's like, You see these guys dressed up with the crowns and all the nice jewelry and stuff. He's like, Man, they got people carrying their stuff around for them. He's like, you know what that guy does for a living when he's not here? He's a freaking plumber, dude. And he gets to be the king. Are you kidding me? He's like, I work for an insurance company. Well, I gotta carry a plumber's shit around. Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_01So that's my big question is do they do they pluck their talent locally or do you travel with them like a theater troupe? You know, like do you do you do the northeast in the in the summer and the fall, but then come winter you you throw it all in the caravan because you gotta go renaissance fare through like the southeast and like Florida and Georgia and places where it's still sunny and like it is it's dude.
SPEAKER_00I'm so glad you brought that up because it just brought back it just jogged my memory of that same conversation. I remember him talking about like all the backstage drama and how you know, aside from you know, certain people get treated a certain way, but like everybody was pissed off because they had given a part to like I don't want to say a real actor, but like a guy who was kind of brought in specifically. So he had kind of like stopped everyone, yeah. He had stopped other people's progress from reaching the pinnacle of Renaissance fair royalty because they brought in a ringer, because he didn't pay his dues for that. That's right. Like you weren't you weren't selling mead, you never had to do any of the retail stuff, you just come in and you get to be freaking William the Conqueror. Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_01Well, okay, as a as a bartender, how do you how do you feel about it when when someone gets to come in and be a duke at your bar and hasn't hasn't bar backed and hasn't served and hasn't you know like do you do you feel like this is this is a metaphor for bigger industry that like you have to come in and pay your dues and there's a right way to you know here it's just it's surfed them to to duked them because that's how the feudal structure works. Um but like in the bar, do you do you feel like like they should bar back before they bartend? Do you feel like there's some sort of paying your dues that that is just industry standard?
SPEAKER_00I'd like to say yes, but considering my own journey, you know, and how I skipped a bunch of steps because I was a good liar, dude. I bar backed for three months and I was bad at it because I would always want to talk to people or I'd be going through the crowd trying to, you know, bring cases of beer or something, and I would get stuck talking or doing something else. I was just bad at it. So I found out when I'm like as a as a bartender, when I'm behind the bar and my sole focus is drinks and keeping the amount of people at my bar beveraged and perhaps slightly entertained from time to time, then I'm much better. Like bar backing was not for me. So maybe there's a due process, but to be honest with you, you can pretty much tell a good bartender from somebody who's not going to make it almost instantaneously. You can teach drinks. So we've talked about this before. You can teach drinks, but you can't teach it.
SPEAKER_01That's what that time is for. And from a from a beverage director, like managerial perspective. I I like to put a new bartender on as a bar back for the same reason I like to put a server on the expo line. Like I want you to see the drinks coming out, see how they get made, see how you know what the what the specs are, what the shaking instructions are, how they get served, how they get garnished, what prep work is going into all that. And I want you to see that without having to worry about also working a shift. Right? So I do the same thing to the servers. You stick them on the expo line before you give them their tables. That way they see every piece of food that's coming out of that kitchen and they know if it's got fries, it gets a ketchup. If it's a sandwich, it gets a pickle. If it's the wings, you ask for blue cheese or ranch. And anytime you don't ask for blue cheese or ranch, you gotta send a server back to the table to be like, Do you want blue cheese or ranch? So you should just learn to do it. You know, so it's the same thing with you know, so I think my question for you is do you feel that you're past it? Or if you if there was a beverage program where say say there was a new bar opening up and they said, you know, top bar in the city, high volume tip outs, blah blah blah, all the all the benefits in the world, but we need you to bar back for six months so that you can learn the world before we'll give you a shift. Would you do it?
SPEAKER_00Me now, yeah. No, of course not. Absolutely not.
SPEAKER_01So you wouldn't be willing to kind of start start over it's not really starting over, it's you it's but kind of starting over.
SPEAKER_00Nah, dude. I've been I've been tending bar for 20 years. Like my dues have been paid. I've worked shit shifts, I've worked shit places, I've worked with shit people, I've taken shit for 20 years, and I'm not going to go back to a place where, especially not at 41 years old, dude. My body couldn't keep up with that. We talked about this earlier, like 20 minutes ago. I don't take that great a care of myself. I'm trying to do better, but I'm, you know, I'm not there yet. I don't think that I could put up with the physical limitations that I have now. I don't think I'd be carrying five cases of beer up and downstairs. I don't think that I could carry a keg to where I needed it to be. You know, I just I don't think I could do it. And I think having spent the entirety of the last 20 years in some capacity or another behind a bar serving drinks, I don't think I'd I could handle it. Not to mention the ego part of me. Because I think that there's a part of every bartender that is like a super ego, you know, and I think we talked about it in our our bartender episode, where it's like uh everyday Kyle and bartender Kyle are not the same person. Like everyday Kyle is not a super egomaniac, but bartender Kyle knows that bartender Kyle has been here for a minute and knows what he's doing, and so there gets to be a little ego in it, you know.
SPEAKER_01So you just wouldn't work at this new place because of those requirements. No, I would not.
SPEAKER_00And I think that if I put a resume down that said, here's 20 years, and they said you still need a bar back, I'd go, then this you're this is ridiculous. Like, I'm not calling myself the world's greatest bartender, although bartender Kyle does call himself the world's greatest bartender. I think that if I were to show up and you were to tell me 20 years of experience doesn't mean shit, you have to bar back. I'd say, okay, find a 20-year-old.
SPEAKER_01See, I don't look at it that way. I I I feel like for the right program, for the right concept, if it was if it was doing it for the right reasons, I'd be in. I feel like I'd be down. No, thank you.
SPEAKER_00I would I would be because having to bar back isn't gonna make my cosmo any better. I mean, what am I learning? Am I learning a routine here? Like if I mean that's the other side of the coin. Like if this new establishment you are making up on the spot is some sort of theatrically motivated establishment. Am I learning lines? Am I learning fire tricks? Am I learning how to you know curl the bottle around my neck? Am I doing flare stuff? Like what are we talking about here? I mean, if this is just a bar.
SPEAKER_01Have you seen those diners where they do Broadway songs in like the middle of your of your performance of your like meal? No, like all of a sudden your server's just gonna come out of the back singing something from hairspray and they're gonna break into like a four-minute number where she's like dancing on the on the bar tops and everybody's like, Yay!
SPEAKER_00Oh man, what if you were what if you like took your significant other there and it was to break up with them, and you're right in the middle of your breakup speech, and they break into something from damn Yankees, and now you've got to wait for them to be done in their cotton Yankees uniforms as they've kicked your plate of poutine across the table. I think we're having a great time together, and uh, you're a really special person, but I really think that we should be seeing I the very model of a modern major general. Oh, come on, dude.
SPEAKER_01So so, but there is a weird I it's it, you know, I I I would think that like you wouldn't go there for a serious conversation, but I did hear a commercial the other day where they were like, conversations are hard, AI makes them easier, and like it was this ad for like if you're gonna break up with your significant other, have AI turn it into a song, and then you guys will both laugh about it. I was like, no, that's not how that story ends at all. So, so like now you've got me thinking, would I rather get an AI breakup song? Or would I rather be at least taken to a nice diner where someone might sing a Broadway? You know, like he broke up with me, but but that guy did a killer rendition of that song from Hamilton that I really like. So like at least there was that. I don't know. But what are what are we doing? Are we losing complete ability to interact with people? I mean, I know we were we say that like this podcast is a return to conversationalism, but but maybe we're not reaching enough audience because we didn't turn the podcast into an AI song first. Like, are we going about this all wrong?
SPEAKER_00In my head, you've taken your girl to go break up with her this place, and you leave and you go see your boys, and they're like, oh man, how'd the breakup go? And you're like, Well, I couldn't do it because they were doing a really heady piece from Jesus Christ Superstar. It seemed inappropriate.
SPEAKER_01So AI, it's probably the worst way to do this, right? I Broadway diners, alright. Renfare. You break up at the Renfair. If you go to the Renfair just to break up, I feel like that works out a lot better for her than it does for him, right? Because he's dressed like a weirdo. Meanwhile, she's got her cleavage up to her chin and gets to turn around and immediately be a damsel in distress in a field full of weirdos that she already knows she's dragged into because she came here to begin with. So does he then turn around and drown his sorrows in some ale?
SPEAKER_00Like a rentare prices. All of his money went to his costume. Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_01But these bracers are real leather. It says no refunds. I'm sweating this. He'll never take it back.
SPEAKER_00These are real honest to God pantaloons.
SPEAKER_01I can't even use this sword, it's been zip tied together. Oh dude, I'm glad keeps me from defending my honor.
SPEAKER_02And then the guy that they brought in to play the king swoops in.
SPEAKER_00Oh god. Dude, I'm glad you brought that up, man. Like I didn't really start noticing it until I started noticing women in general, but like when did like the corsets and the the titty shelves become a thing at the Renaissance fair?
SPEAKER_02That's always.
SPEAKER_00I have to think, if you think about it from a historical standpoint, we're talking about a very church-heavy population, very modestly dressed. So I just don't see a scenario in which this makes sense. I'm not complaining. Don't don't get it twisted.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's isn't it an undergarment? Like, isn't it like to have a female co-host? But isn't it like a you know, like the the high-end the the queens and and whatnot like wore their corset underneath the dress and then the dress came down, so like so like it's the wenches that like you see the corset out and the it historically. I mean, I know most of the be most of the women that go there, it's just like a slutty Halloween costume, like you know, I'm gonna be a referee, but a slutty referee, or like I'm gonna be a ghost, but a slutty ghost. It's like I'm gonna go to the Renfair, but the slutty Renfair. Like that's that's what you're signing up for, and good for you, because you know, it's a good time walking around, but uh yeah, and you gotta wonder, do you those of you that do build these outfits and these costumes and these this this stuff's not cheap? Are you adding an accessory every year? How many outfits are you working with? Can you go to two rent fairs and not wear the same thing both days?
SPEAKER_00Oh, if you if you get caught, you're you're ostracized, that's for sure. But I I don't know, it's it's like and then steampunk is now involved in it for some reason. Well and what are you cosplaying as a time traveler?
SPEAKER_01Uh, there was a couple people there cosplaying as time travelers. There some guy was dressed up in a full predator costume, like mask and everything, just walking around by himself, like, okay, we didn't have anything else to do on a Sunday. That's fine. Just seems like a lot of prosthetic work. Um, but but like it you do, and you see, I the that's what I think I I was the most interested in, because some of the costumes that people are wearing to these things have gotten better than the costumes of the people performing in these things. So it it is really interesting because they used to give a discount. I I know we're dating ourselves, and you said you used to go way back when I also used to go way back when. They used to give a discount if you showed up in costume because you were contributing to the atmosphere, and you know, they want they want it to look like that. So, you know, 40 bucks a person, but 25 if you're in costume. Um, they don't do that anymore, and I think I saw more people dressing up. Um, and it it is, it's very adult, it's very professional. There aren't a whole lot of kid things going on anymore. Like, like you said, you went as a kid and and you know they they take you to the chessboard and they make you say, God save the queen, and you learn how to, you know, how to how to joust and blah blah blah blah blah. And there's all sorts of kid things. They there were more adult things. There's a brewery on site now, there's a distillery on site now, they do a brunch in the morning that you can sign up to go have breakfast with the cast before they open the doors for the general public. They have a a cocktail and cigar thing where like the jester comes out and cracks jokes about medieval beverages while you sit. It's it's gotten very adult. Not not in the sense, I mean, it's always had that kind of tongue-in-cheek, you know, don't look up the skirt, bodiness kind of, you know, kind of uh humor to it, but that part was always kind of around the kid's back, you know, like where look away, child, as we tell this adult joke. Now they're just like, don't bring your kids. You went with your daughter, right? Yeah, she's she's a teenager though, so you know, she she's into all that, and we came home with a with a coyote skull that she bought off of somebody that's probably wanted for witchcraft in most of the southern states.
SPEAKER_00I remember that's funny you put it that way, because I remember as a kid we'd go to all those shows and stuff, and my mom would be laughing her ass off, and I'd be asking her questions about this, that, or the third, and she's like, Oh, it's a it's adult humor. So, you know, I go back in my late 20s, early 30s, or whatever it was, and starting to hear this. I'm like, God bless America. Was this what they were saying when I was a kid? Yup because like that is that is uh they're not even hiding these words anymore. Yup.
SPEAKER_01And that's I don't know, I I don't know if I if I think that's a cultural permeation, but I feel that way about television and movies these days. I feel like we don't do as good of a job making I don't want to say family-friendly content, but that sort of everyone can sit and watch this and enjoy it for different reasons. Like I feel like it's either a kid's show or it's an adult show. There isn't a whole lot of that middle ground that we kind of grew up with where you where you get the adult humor, but but it's also tucked in in a way that the kids don't notice it.
SPEAKER_00Right. Right. I mean, but like at a renaissance fair, I mean I don't know, dude. It's now that we're sitting here and talking about it, like it's such an odd concept, if you if you really break it down.
SPEAKER_01I mean, is it for kids? Should it be for kids? You know, like the the the fact that we were ever brought to it to begin with, is that where should we not have been there? Yeah, right? Has it always been an adult thing? And we just we ended up at a place where we didn't belong, and the jokes went over our heads, and no one was worse for it.
SPEAKER_00Well, I think I got my first real taste of on-stage performance at a Renaissance fair. Um, when I was a a young kid, my mom's friend from college had some sway with the Renaissance fair people, or he knew some of the actors, or whatever it was. And uh so he got the guy that he knew to bring me up on stage as part of the show. And I played a wall. They put this like horse blanket thing over me, and I remember being real scratchy and heavy, and I had to hold my hands out and make a hole so that the guy could look through it to see the girl. It was just there was no glory in it.
SPEAKER_01This is coming back to you. Are you seeing it while you're saying it?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, absolutely. I uh but I'm wondering now, like, should I have been up there? You're under a blanket, you don't know I made a hole in a wall with my fingers, like a bunch of shit could have gone wrong here, buddy.
SPEAKER_01A bunch of shit probably was going wrong. Was the crowd laughing hysterically? I remember a lot of laughter-mostly adult laughter, yes. But oh my god.
SPEAKER_00I remember that, but I there's a I have a picture. My mom actually, it's so funny we're talking about this because my mom just sent me the picture of me and this dude. Uh, she found it while she was going through some stuff, and like there's a picture of me in this like horse blanket. I'll maybe we'll try to get it posted up on Instagram or something, but uh but yeah, I don't know, man. I I I look back on the Renaissance fair so fondly, like it's some of my my favorite memories as a kid being there with my mom and my brother and just running around and and all of this. And I remember that one year we were allowed to buy like a souvenir, and they had this like wooden weapons place. So I got a battle axe, like a double-sided battle axe, and my brother got a shield. And I'm not a hundred percent sure if that you know translates to who we have become as people, but that's a that's a uh a dive I'm not willing to take right now. But it's a couch you're not willing to lay on. That's right. Are they are they still selling like wooden weapons and stuff?
SPEAKER_01Yes, that guy now also sells plastic lightsabers and come on and foam like anime swords, also. So it it has it like many things in life, it has gotten kind of more expensive and cheaper simultaneously. You know, they're they're still charging you a ticket price, you still have to pay for everything once you're in there. You know, you're paying for your food, you're buying all your souvenirs, some of them take cash, some of them take card. Like it some of it is is still really cool and very hard to find. Um the guy that makes the dragon puppets is is just a a wonderful thing. Like they they're they're incredible. Uh, and I know they're hundreds of dollars, but they are they're really special, and I don't think I've seen anything like it anywhere else. There's also a a walking stick and cane guy there that's got some really cool vintage stuff, but for the most part, it it does. It feels like everything at all of the booths has gotten cheaper, right? You used to go for you know the the swords that they made there in front of you, and the glass that they blew there in front of you, and the jewelry that they made right there in front of you, and and now it all seems like uh hold on, let me check and see if I have more of those in the back.
SPEAKER_00Can you still buy metal swords?
SPEAKER_01Not really. I mean they had a they had a couple, but like but like the the the blacksmith is more of like a demonstration. Like it used to be just watching those guys work and like one of them would talk. Now it's like a whole show where like he cracks jokes and makes a bunch of metal puns and like you know, like I'm not the sharpest sword in the blah blah blah, but I'm gonna show you how to do this, and it just it's all gotten real kind of kitsch and character-based, and and it uh it it what I wonder is the musical acts. Right? Some of these some of these musical acts are are absolutely fantastic with the with the fiddles and the bands and the you know and the the guitar players and the harmonies and the these are not these are not quickly thrown together things, right? So do these people have a Renaissance fair circuit that they tore? D do you go out for the because they're not playing Lincoln Financial Field, you know what I mean? Like it's not it's not four wenches and a and a dwarf in the uh at the Met tonight. You know what I mean? Like they're but they're professional enough that they're doing something somewhere.
SPEAKER_00I mean it's like it's like Trans Siberian Orchestra. What are they doing the other 11 months of the year? I would hope sleeping. Those guys are getting old. But like, you know what, you know, you understand my point? Like Trans Siberian Orchestra, I'm sure they have other stuff that they do, but like nobody gives a shit unless it's Christmas music. So, like if these very well-practiced and well-trained medieval musician cosplayers or whatever, like I mean, that takes a lot of work to get those harmonies, like you said, those harmonies and everything down. I mean, I don't know. Are they are they bartenders on the off-season? Is there an off-season?
SPEAKER_01That's what I'm saying. You got a whole country full of Renaissance fairs. Is there a circuit that you can do where you know you only go to the big ones and it's still you know, Pennsylvania Renaissance Fair? That's a that's a big venue. That's that's permanent built stages. That's better than you know a circus tent and some pop-ups, which is what you get in some other states where it's more of like a farm fair. Like, is it Florida's got some crazy Renaissance fairs? Do they go down there and and that's where they full-time gig and then they travel to you know smaller Renaissance fairs when the when the time comes around? Or like, do they take their love of 15th century sea shanties and just do Fleetwood Mac songs for six months when no one's paying attention? You know, like it like you said, did did do the cloaks flip inside out and all of a sudden they're you know the the the rogues of the northern woods are now a a beach boys tribute band for in a half the year because the harmonies are just there anyway, and why not? We'll just we'll sing Billy Joel Doo Wop instead.
SPEAKER_00They're all probably servers at a medieval times, but like throughout the year, and then they get to play their tunes in between the green knight and the red knight going at it.
SPEAKER_01Well, how many of those are there left? Because we were lucky enough to grow up with one in in North Jersey.
SPEAKER_00I've never been to one, but I've heard I've heard it's either you're either like super into it and it's awesome, or it's the worst, you know, three-hour meal of your life.
SPEAKER_01Both both things can be can be true. And I think I think that's the other thing that's fun about Renaissance fairs is that like everything you've heard about medieval times is true. Pretty much everything you've heard about a Renaissance fair is true. If you've never been to a Renaissance fair, imagine whatever the hell you want. And it's right on the money. It's right on the money.
SPEAKER_00Are you familiar with with LARPing?
SPEAKER_01I've never gotten into it, but it's a lot of people buying. And I wonder if like that's what we've transitioned the the real swords to foam swords for. Like it's not for the kids, it's it's for the LARPers who you know no longer want a copy of whatever the name of the sword from Game of Thrones was. Now all of a sudden they want Link's sword from Zelda and they want it in foam rubber.
SPEAKER_00And for those of you unfamiliar with the term, LARP is an acronym for live-action role-playing. And have you I listen, I went, I I learned that this was a real thing years ago, and I went internet diving into the LARPing world, and it is significantly larger than you would think. And dude, I I saw this one website, it was it was like they have a crazy name for their their world, you know, like they live in this kingdom, and there are storylines, there are betrayals, there are romances, and everybody just goes, Yup. Like they and you have to like pay to be there, but like you also have to help build the world, and and there's all these rules, and and and some of them allow magic and some of them don't, but then they all have this fight at the end. And how do you know who's got magic? And like they're throwing what like fucking those balls from the ball pits at each other, and like, oh, that's an invisibility spell.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, and then they'll put out like a like an all points bulletin, and they'll be like calling everyone to the field of. Battle, and then they'll do these like large scale like 20 on 20. I it it it cracks me up because I don't think we have a concept of how many people there actually are because every time I go down these rabbit holes, I'm like, there's like five million people that are into this, yeah. And it it always surprises me. I'm like, where do all these people come from? No, there's just a lot of people.
SPEAKER_00Do you think the really good Renaissance fair actors participate in LARPing events just to hone their craft? If you don't flex your craft from time to time, you're going to lose that muscle.
SPEAKER_01You just pre-season with it.
SPEAKER_00That's right.
SPEAKER_01I like to like to get a good three or four weeks of LARPing in before the Renfair starts. Uh you know. Just shake some of the rust off.
SPEAKER_00There's a few things I want to try, but it, you know, maybe it's not ready for prime time. Yeah, that it's a it's a crazy concept. I think I think that I would like to go back. I and the thing is I've only ever been to the Pennsylvania Renaissance Fair. So like I think I'd like to go to another one. Because I'm if I'm not mistaken, the Pennsylvania Renaissance Fair is considered one of the top like three or five Renaissance fairs in the country.
SPEAKER_01And no idea Ren Fair rankings. I I don't I don't feel qualified to speak on that in any.
SPEAKER_00I just remember people talking about it.
SPEAKER_01Like they're like, oh yeah, this is one of the I've been to the one in New Jersey. Um, and like I said, it's more of like in the fairgrounds, they put up a bunch of tents, and it all kind of happens in the field, and it and it looks like you know, it looks like a bunch of Renaissance people got together in a field and put a bunch of tents up. Like the the one in the one in Pennsylvania has permanent structures, you know, like it's a thing, dude. Like it's a it's a it does a major thing. It doesn't look as upkept and and attentioned to detail as it did in our childhood. Um, you know, like they didn't do as great of a job hiding the fact that that's a catch-up dispenser. Right. You know, like it it I don't know if I fall I don't know, I don't know what maintaining this place takes. I have no idea. And the people too doing this forever, and and they try and do other things throughout the year, but I always thought it would be cool to you know staff it year-round and and do Halloween stuff, do you know, a Jack the Ripper mystery or an Edgar Allen Poe night or something like that around Halloween, and then switch into Charles Dickens and do you know, like the the medieval Christmas thing around the village. I but again, I don't know what this takes to pull off. Um it just it seems to me like a like a really cool space that only gets used for two months out of the year.
SPEAKER_00AI could probably help them out with that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I just turn the whole thing into a data center. And it's all spelled wrong.
SPEAKER_00That's right. So what are your what are your thoughts like uh after having now been there in your 40s? And when was the last time you went? Like how long ago had it been since you'd been?
SPEAKER_01It's probably been about ten years. Uh we went last time we went, my daughter was younger. Um so it's probably been about ten years. Uh and and I think my my take to the world would be if it's something that you're into and think you might be into, go be into it, because it's still there. Um but it it you get out of it what you put into it. Do you feel like you didn't put enough in? I don't know that I have enough to put in to that sort of thing. You know, i i I mean it's not that much different than because you gotta assume that the vast majority of these people aren't aren't particularly into sports and athletics. Although there was a hearty cheer when the Eagles won. Uh you could you could hear it throughout the festival that that there was just kind of a general of like the guys watching the games on their phone, and then you had the Renfare people immediately follow up with like a huzzah! Apparently we're celebrating something. Privy me, what are we celebrating? And like they take it and run with it like they're supposed to, but there was there was a general kind of kind of roar when the when the Eagles game finished from from all the guys on their phones.
SPEAKER_00What dost thou have in thine hand? And what are those moving pictures? That device is witchcraft. Airplane goes by, there's inevitably going to be like seven people in the cast going, what is that giant bird?
SPEAKER_01And it's true, it it's every every cliche you've ever imagined, and they steer right into it. They they steer right into it. There was there was some lady playing Enner Sandman on the hammered dulcimer. Come on, doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom. It's a weird instrument, man, but they do, they they try their best, and it's and it's fun. I I do think, and maybe this is an age thing, and and not being able to look look down on the younger generation and realize that everyone is not 12 years old, but almost all of the food stands were run by kids. So so, as someone that grew up in in that kind of general vicinity, did you see a lot of that? Was that like people's high school jobs? We uh I grew up in South Jersey. We lost every summer everybody went and worked at Six Flags. They would bust you from from the high school to the amusement park and you'd work your shift and then they'd bust you home. So, like, we that's where we all went. We everybody's got an amusement park story job. Didn't did Central PA all go work at the Renfair? Was that the thing to do? Like, you and your homies are gonna take over the giant pretzel stand this summer, and it's just gonna be cool.
SPEAKER_00I think it was just the theater kids who were like on a first name basis with the theater director. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01Trying to get that early networking in. Yeah, like you said, you you need those connections in the in the Renfare casts.
SPEAKER_00You're like, Mr. Johnson said this, and they're like, oh, Sam, Sam said that. Like, take it easy.
SPEAKER_01The Falcon lady agreed to let me be her understudy for the summer.
SPEAKER_00I don't know, man. I think I think I would have enjoyed it, like if I had, you know, followed through and maybe auditioned and made it in. I really feel like it would have been a lot of fun because I remember some of my best memories of it outside of like the joust and the the the human chess match and everything, were just the little interactions that you had with the people that were just like walking around. More often than not, they're gonna rip on you a little bit. And I thought that was amazing. And I think I would have been pretty good at that.
SPEAKER_01It it weird tie-in, but as pro wrestling fans, we're we're familiar with the c the concept of the suspension of our disbelief, right? So so staring at a thing that you know is outwardly fake, and then going, you know, just for the next couple hours, I need to play along with this. Like, I it's just everybody's gonna have a better time if I just say, you know what?
SPEAKER_00Sure. Sure. So when that annoying guy comes up and starts asking you questions about your phone, you're gonna be like, Yeah, witchcraft, whatever.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Hate that. Yeah, there was a guy standing out front of one of the tents and he was just ripping on all the bald dudes.
SPEAKER_00Nice.
SPEAKER_01He was offering them, you know, also snake oil and balms and hair growth tonics and blah blah blah.
SPEAKER_00They still have the guys that sit up on like when you come through the gate, and they and that's that's another thing, is like they have a huge like fent uh like fake like stone wall or whatever or or something, right? There's like a big entrance way to go in, and they used to have people that would sit there and and like yell at you while you were coming in, and they like they would legit rip on you the entire time you're in line.
SPEAKER_01They weren't there when we were there. And that and that courtyard where they used to gather you and and you know give you the rules before they let you in is now metal detectors and bags searching and ticket scanning and it's not the 90s anymore, buddy. Nope. Metal detector to Renfair's weird concept though. None of the action is a little bit more. I bet that metal detector makes its money's worth. Um you just there's full-on suits of armor walking through the door. Like, if you hit a knife in your pocket, I'm pretty sure nobody noticed. Like, what are you actually searching for with the water?
SPEAKER_00Like, you can buy a dagger.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like what are we searching for? What did what did you find on the way in that you couldn't have bought inside? Is that the whole thing? Like, no external sharp objects. We need you to purchase our shop uh sharp objects.
SPEAKER_00It has to be some sort of like if you're gonna if you're gonna go on a rampage, at least spend the 1999 here before you do it.
SPEAKER_01Well, and the other thing we need to do, just as a just as an internal memo, is uh you know, teach your kids how to whittle. Because uh apparently apparently the I found a stick and I'm going to tell you it's a magic wand and that makes it worth $15 is alive and well in capitalism. And I've seen it not only at Ren fairs, but I've seen it at like street fairs and like uh flea markets where there's magic wand.
SPEAKER_00They tie on half a blue jay feather that they found. And they're like, look at look look at this, everyone. It's Harry Potter.
SPEAKER_01I know how to whittle. You have lots of sticks in your yard. We're missing out. A little split the corner magic wand business. That's right. Side hustle.
SPEAKER_00The next year's Pennsylvania Renaissance Fair. Keep your eye out for the split the corner magic wand.
SPEAKER_01Split the corner side hustle.
SPEAKER_00So, Kaz, let me ask you final thoughts on the Renaissance fair and Renaissance fairs in general. Boost the A's and steampunk. Also anime for some reason.
SPEAKER_01I'm kind of for all of it. I I I I feel like the Renaissance Fair is is the is the other side of the coin to Comic Con, right? Like, are you a Comic Con geek or are you a Renfare geek? I feel like that sums up the world. And if I had to, um probably both. Sorry. But you know, I'm also still trying to get to a Phillies game this year, and you know, I got I got I had union season tickets forever, and I've watched almost every baseball game. You know, like I'm I'm also a diehard sports fan. I'm just into everything.
SPEAKER_00I'll bet you own a cod piece. No, you're gonna show up to the next year's Renaissance Fair, the COD piece and a hat you made yourself, and then the next year you'll have a cape, and then the next year you'll have leather bracers that you sweat in, so you can't return them.
SPEAKER_01I could do the cloak. I I feel like I could live the cloak life, you know, cloak and a good walking stick, you know, but but I'm not buying a walking stick because they were they were outrageously expensive for like again, it's a stick. Like, I'm not talking hundreds of dollars. I mean $250 because they had the thing wrapped around it and they made it all polished up and shiny. And I'm like, we could just let's just go into the woods and find our own sticks. I don't I don't know. Um, but yeah, I could I could see myself dressing up, throwing on a cloak and and calling it a day, and you know, I don't know how full costume I would get. I don't have that kind of money. Yeah, I don't I don't want to go to I don't want to go to what spirit Halloween and just like buy a generic Hobbit costume, you know, the one where it's like like Balbo or whatever. If we didn't get the rights, it's just wrong name, uh Fordo or something.
SPEAKER_00Like these are half men costumes, right? These are hibbits. Hibbits, these are hibbit costumes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, see, I don't want to do that. Like if I did it, I would want to do it right. I feel like the place to start is with a half decent cloak.
SPEAKER_00There you go. Better better be looking at it than looking for it, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh man, well, I am actually kind of bummed I didn't make it to the Renaissance fair this year. I think once my kids are a little older, maybe we'll we'll take them and explain all the different terms for penis that these people have used in their tongue-in-cheek body.
SPEAKER_01We can still do it with kids. I don't I don't want to give the impression that like it's adults only, but it's not as kid friendly as it used to be. And if you want to if you want to make it to the kid things, you have to pay real close attention to the schedule.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Okay. Well, there you go. There you go. Renfares. Renfares. Well, thank you for uh taking us down this journey with you. And I I can't get over the anime stuff. Like that's like the foam anime swords, I just I can't get it out of my head. Because at least and or lightsaber's like, come on, dude, pick a lane. But we uh we appreciate you sticking around with us today uh on this episode, this medieval episode of Split the Corner podcast. If you don't want to miss any episodes we have upcoming, make sure to follow us on whatever it is the platform you choose to listen to your podcast with is and let us know if you'd like to. Follow us wherever you like to follow things. Split the corner podcast on all your major social medias, split the corner podcast at gmail.com if you'd like to shoot us an email. Kaz, anything to add before we wrap this bad boy up?
SPEAKER_01No, I would just like to say that as always, thy next drink is on the uh us? No, by thou Ren Fares Cheers, guys.